The Big Move

Today is the three-year anniversary of Support Your Local Gunfighter. And, in true Wyattian fashion, you won't be reading the anniversary post - or any more new posts - here for, well, forever. That's because I'm packing up the pistols, the babe pics, and my poodle, er, Doberman, and moving to some fresh, new gigs.

Here's the back story. When I reached my 200,000th hit, my friend Jim from bRight & Early sent me an e-mail stating he wrangled me a new site/domain name. Bought and paid for: all for me.

What do you say to something like that besides, "Thank you?"

So, I did, and we were off and running. The new site was secured in mid-April, but I wanted to wait until the blogiversary for the release. And that day is today. As of midnight on June 6, 2008, Support Your Local Gunfighter can now be seen at supportyourlocalgunfighter.com.

I'm hoping you follow me over to the new digs, but I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. I mean, it'll just be the same drivel, just with better scenery. Oh, and Haloscan will not be invited along. Get bent, you lousy system!

I would also like to make a plea to my fellow bloggers. Please, please, please update your blogrolls to reflect the new address. I'd appreciate it. (Wow, that was the most pathetic begging I ever had to do.) Well, the second-most pathetic begging. First place was when I begged the missus to marry me.

Well, that's the news, and I am outta here!

Obama's Credibility Suffering From Shrinkage

I am completely fascinated with Barack Obama's ability to speak so eloquently about so many things, and at the same time, say absolutely nothing. Especially when it comes to Jeremiah Wright, Michael Pfleger, and convicted corrupt fundraiser Tony Rezko.

Of course, maybe it's because I am so tired of hearing about the "HopeChange Express" that I want to vomit. President Bush is leaving office, Barack. No matter who wins the Presidency, there will be change! Idiot.

9-11 Mastermind Requests Death Sentence

Well, by all means, let's fire up Ol' Sparky!

GUANTANAMO BAY NAVAL BASE, Cuba - Khalid Sheikh Mohammed said Thursday that he would welcome the death penalty for his confessed role as mastermind of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

"Yes, this is what I wish, to be a martyr for a long time," Mohammed told a military judge who warned that he faces execution if convicted of organizing the attacks on America. "I will, God willing, have this, by you."

The former No. 3 leader of al-Qaida and four alleged co-conspirators were being arraigned Thursday in their long-awaited first appearance before a war-crimes tribunal. All five face death if convicted of war crimes including murder, conspiracy, attacking civilians and terrorism in the 2001 attacks, which killed 2,973 people. (H/T - AP via Yahoo!)

Believe it or not, I am torn by this request. On the one hand, I would like to see Mohammed be spared, so he can rot in prison and lose his desired martyr status. On the other hand, I would very much like to see him be put to death in one of the following ways:

• Sex with Rosie O'Donnell.
• Rusty, dull guillotine.
  
• Pig blood transfusion.

The Detroit Red Wings: Stanley Cup Champions

Congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings!
If you missed this game, you missed one of the greats. It's why I think hockey is the greatest sport in the world.

The Red Wings were the better team this series, and although I am a Penguins fan, I have to admit Detroit wanted it more. Wings goaltender Chris Osgood played out of his mind, forward Henrik Zetterberg - winner of the Conn Smythe Trophy for MVP of the playoffs - was clutch, and captain Nicklas Lidstrom anchored the defense in a total team effort.

The Penguins, to their credit, played very well, too. Say what you want about Sid the Kid, but forward Evgeni Malkin and goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury carried this team. After starting the Finals in a funk, they regrouped and gave it their all. It's a damned shame they fell short.

I give credit to the Pittsburgh fans. They stayed and showed respect (and applause) to Detroit even though they won the Cup in the Pens' building. It's also a good time to mention one of the truly classy traditions in the NHL: the handshake.

After the final game of every series, the opposing teams line up and shake hands. Sure, they were just beating themselves half to death, but they (usually) give each other the respect that is all too uncommon in sports today. Hopefully, the citizens of Detroit will exhibit the same respect tonight, and not burn their city down.

Humpday History Highlight

Remember this story the next time you expect your heroes to be perfect and infallible.

June 4, 1754 - George Washington Builds Fort Necessity

On this day in 1754, during the Seven Years’ War, a 22-year-old lieutenant colonel in the Virginia militia named George Washington begins construction of a makeshift “Fort Necessity.” The fort was built to defend his forces from French soldiers enraged by the murder of Ensign Joseph Coulon de Jumonville while in Washington’s custody. One month later, the French, led by Jumonville’s half-brother, won Washington’s surrender and forced confession to Jumonville’s murder.

The Ohio Valley had long been a contested territory among French Canadians, various Indian groups and the British colonies of Pennsylvania and Virginia. When the French began to establish fortifications along the river and refused Virginia’s written demand that they depart, Virginia’s governor, Robert Dinwiddie, dispatched Washington to complete and defend a Virginian fort at the forks of the Ohio.

Upon their arrival, Washington discovered that a scouting party led by Jumonville was nearby. Fearing that the French were planning an attack, Washington struck first, successfully ambushing the small party. In one of history’s murkier moments, Jumonville was murdered by Washington’s Indian ally, Tanaghrisson, while the monolingual Washington struggled to interrogate the French-speaking Canadian.

Jumonville’s murder in captivity incited a strong French response, and Washington was unable to defend his makeshift “Fort Necessity” from French forces led by Jumonville’s half-brother. Washington surrendered on July 4 and signed a confession—in French, which he could not read--to Jumonville’s assassination. (H/T - History.com)

The moral of the story: even the greatest men make terrible mistakes. The History Channel's miniseries, "Washington the Warrior" included this incident. As usual, it was very well done.

Agent Scully Is Pregnant!

Mmm . . . Scully!
And, alas, I had nothing to do with it.

NEW YORK (AP) -- Gillian Anderson and her boyfriend, Mark Griffiths, are expecting their second child this fall, her manager, Connie Freiberg, said Wednesday.

The "X-Files" actress and the businessman have an 18-month-old son Oscar.

Anderson, 39, has a 13-year-old daughter, Piper, with ex-husband Clyde Klotz, a production designer. She and her second husband, documentary filmmaker Julian Ozanne, separated in April 2006 after 16 months of marriage. (H/T - CNN)

Really, if she was looking for help in the baby-making department, she could have at least considered me. I've got three boys, for cripes' sake!

I wonder if this was a problem while filming The X-Files: I Want to Believe?

Good Morning, Topeka!

At left, Talk Show Host Extraordinaire Deb Goodrich. She rules!

Leave it to an idiot like me to become completely melodramatic about a simple radio interview. To be honest, I was overcome by nausea from the nervousness, and was pacing around the room during the entire segment.

And magically, when the interview was over, I said to myself, "Hey, I don't think I was all that terrible."

Most of the credit for that, of course, goes to Deb. She's very good at her craft, and made me feel right at home: a difficult thing to do, since I'm usually a jittery mess. We talked about blogging, guns, and life in the police department. I even had a caller! It was the most fun I've ever had, and I cannot thank Deb and her husband Tom enough for the opportunity.

Since I wasn't sure if there would be a podcast to download, I had the missus tape it on a tape recorder - yeah, the pinnacle of 1960's technology - so at least the hard copy is out there. You just have to come to Philly to hear it; at least until I figure out how to put it on the computer.

So there it is. I survived and am feeling pretty good about myself. Feel free to attack and critique my appearance in 4 . . 3 . . 2 . .

"Speed Bathing" All The Rage In Japan

So they want everyone to rush through their time with Mr. Sparkle?

TOKYO (Reuters) - Speedier family baths could help Japanese cut their burgeoning energy consumption and reduce greenhouse gas emissions, a government report said on Tuesday.

Japanese households consume less energy than their U.S. and European counterparts, but consumption has been sharply increasing --jumping 44 percent between 1990 and 2005 -- a big reason the environment white paper zeroed in on ways for people to save energy.

Families should not only shorten their daily showers by a minute -- a common recommendation in the West -- but should try to take baths in quick succession, the report said. (H/T - Reuters)

Can you imagine the scene in a typical Japanese residence? Four or five naked people standing in succession, waiting for their siblings to sprint out of the shower? On top of that, how safe do you think it is to rush people through this? I mean, a wet body on a slick surface with a glass door is not exactly the place you want to dance through!

A Friendly Reminder

Tomorrow morning I will be a guest on the lovely and talented Deb Goodrich's talk show, "Debbie Daily." The interview is not for twelve hours, and already I'm feeling the butterflies.

I'll be on the air from 10:00 - 10:30am (Eastern), and you can listen online by clicking the below link:

KMAJ-AM Streaming Audio
So, why not tune in and listen to me (and my annoying Philadelphia accent) try to sound entertaining for thirty minutes? There's always the chance I'll completely embarrass myself, and isn't that incentive enough to tune in? Oh, and please give me a day or so to tell me if I sucked. Thanks a bunch!

Note to Deb: I'm fine (I think), and I'll do my best to make you proud.

Hillary Ready To Become Obama's Vice-President

Wow, that's mighty white of her. There's only one problem: I don't remember her being asked.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Sen. Hillary Clinton on Tuesday told New York lawmakers she is open to being the running mate of Sen. Barack Obama, her rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, two of the lawmakers told CNN.

And yet, her stooge Terry McAuliffe said that the Clinton campaign will "absolutely not" concede the race at this time. Then, why the interest in VP, Hill? Sounds like someone is a big, fat, cankled liar!

Rep. Charles Rangel, a senior member of the New York Democratic delegation, also told CNN, "I have reason to believe she is open to the [vice president] slot."

Then count this story as rock-solid fact. If Charlie Rangel is saying this, it must be Gospel. I mean, it's not like he's a criminal, right?

One of the sources added that former President Clinton has been privately pushing for a couple of weeks for his wife to be No. 2 on the ticket.

That's only because Slick Willy left some "mementos" in the Oval Office that he needs to retrieve. I remember hearing a rumor about a "stash of condoms."

"Sen. Clinton is an outstanding public servant, she has worked tirelessly on this campaign, she has been a great senator for the state of New York and she is going to be a great asset when we go into November to make sure that we defeat the Republicans," Obama said on the campaign trail Sunday in South Dakota, adding Monday in Michigan that "she and I will be working together." (H/T - CNN)

Hold on a second, my Bullsh*t Meter is of the charts. Okay, I'm back. Look, does anyone in their right minds think that this unholy union will actually happen. These two idiots despise each other, and rightly so. They've spent the better part of a year attacking each other like two fat guys reaching for the last crumb cake.

For Clinton, the sad truth of the matter is that Obama will win the nomination, despite the fact that the Dems have a stronger candidate in Hillary. The only large state that Obama won was Illinois - his home state - and his campaign has been riddled with scandal and "misspeaks."

And as if they have not suffered enough, there is an alleged "bombshell" coming out about Barack's lovely and talented (at ripping her country) "wife." That's going to cause some damage as well. Eventually, no one - no Democrat, and no Republican - is going to want to vote for this guy: he just brings too much baggage.

China Issues 57 Rules For Olympic Visitors

And keeping with the proud Olympic tradition, the rules are sponsored by Heinz.

HONG KONG -- The Beijing Olympics organizing committee issued a detailed handbook of ground rules for foreign visitors to this summer's Games. The 57 points address behavior from public drunkenness to political statements, a message that China won't be letting down its guard during the Games.

Most of the guidelines issued Monday, phrased in a question-and-answer format -- and only in Chinese -- are restatements of existing laws and regulations. They stipulate that foreign visitors to China should carry passports and other official documents at all times. Visitors who plan to stay with friends or relatives in Beijing must register with local police within 24 hours.

Some of the guidelines are less weighty. Entertainment venues have to be closed between 2 a.m. and 8 a.m. Another guideline reminds visitors that "it is prohibited to sleep in public places," including airports, train stations and parks.

On sensitive issues such as public speech and protest, the rules offer no guidance beyond the vague prohibitions the government has offered in the past.

At major public venues, behavior that "disturbs order" is prohibited, the rules say. Inside Olympic venues, it is illegal to display "any religious, political, and ethnic slogans, banners, and other items." (H/T - The Wall Street Journal)

Wow, it looks like everyone will be able to party like it's 1499! A word to the wise: if you're planning to attend, you might want to leave your Whoopie Cushion at home.

Lousy humorless bastards.

Penguins Win Game 5 In Third Overtime!

The Penguins send the game into OT with this late goal.

If you're not watching the Stanley Cup Finals, then shame on you. You're missing a terrific game tonight. (It's currently on NBC.) And I'll be feeling shame in a minute or so, because the game is going into its second overtime period.

Unfortunately, tomorrow is my last appearance on the day work tour. I have to be up in a little over five hours, and if I don't go to bed, I'll be a damned zombie at work. I will also be a zombie at my hockey game, which is scheduled for tonight at 9:30pm.

No matter what happens tonight, I am proud of the Penguins' effort. They didn't get swept in the Finals, and are keeping up with the best team in the league. Of course, I hope the Pens win tonight, but I won't be devastated if the Wings win it all.

In a perfect world, I would be off tomorrow and be able to stay up and watch the rest of the game. Dammit.

UPDATE: Against my better judgment, I stayed up for the second overtime. After five periods, and 100 minutes, the game is still tied, 3-3. Next goal wins. I'm off to bed.

FINAL UPDATE: Petr Sykora scored in the third OT to give the Pens the win! The victory will force a Game 6 on Wednesday night in the Steel City!

McGuire Air Expo 2008

The Geico Skytypers in action early on in the day.

Yesterday, I took the kids to the McGuire AFB Air Expo in beautiful New Jersey. Okay, the grounds of Fort Dix were beautiful. The rest of the state? Not so much. Riding shotgun during the excursion was everyone's favorite fireman, Captain America, who brought his son Nick along. After five minutes of listening to the Captain rant about the city, politics, and what he would do if he worked in a toll booth, I was ready to throw him out of the moving vehicle.

Any hoo, we arrived in fairly quick fashion and followed the cheery armed MP's to our parking area: a huge grass field. It was like parking at a NASCAR race, without the pesky rednecks. We packed up our things - snacks, water, chairs, sunscreen, thongs, etc. - and followed the crowds to the tarmac. Of course, with a 7-year old and a 4-year old in tow, I had to stop at almost every Porto-Potty on site. "Dad, tinkling in these things is fun!"

Shuttle buses moved everyone across the base, and we made it to the tarmac and past the checkpoint without incident. This is going to sound stupid - even from me - but I was surprised how heavily armed the Air Force personnel were. Almost everyone carried (what appeared to be) an AR-15 and a .45 pistol. They were friendly enough to the kids, but they were ready to rock and roll if the need arose.

Of course, there are also perks to being in the Air Force. Like having a fabulous Air Force Babe bring the security perimeter pizza:

Captain America embarrassed everyone by telling our guards, "Wow, you know it's the Air Force." the Army would have left us for dead." They laughed, but I was hoping they would shoot him. No such luck. At least my boys were having a blast.

Would it really kill Erik (right) to look at the camera?

I was able to get a lot of video, and this demonstration by the F-16 Viper - a low-speed pass - was one of the highlights of the day. It wasn't fast or powerful, but it really showed everyone how versatile the F-16 can be:



Toward the end of the day, we were treated to a Navy Legacy Flight. It consisted of an F-15 Eagle, an P-51 Mustang (thanks for the correction, JPG), and an F-16 Falcon flying in formation. The Captain and I were amazed when comparing the sizes of the three fighters. Those WWII birds were so tiny, while the Eagle is a beast:

By the end of the day, the kids were pretty beat. The Captain whored himself out for some fire department time, so we made our way to the parking lot before the T-Birds opened up. We figured that we could watch them from the parking lot, then hop in the car and beat the traffic. It was a good plan . . .

Except that the buses were ordered to park until after the T-Birds finished. The trip from the tarmac to our parking lot was about a mile, according to one airman, so we sucked it up and got ready to march. And then the angels appeared. Two beautiful Air Force angels of mercy drove up in their van and asked if we were going back to the lot. I told to kids to look even more pathetic to play upon their sympathies, and they told us to hop in. The drive back was terrific - especially in air-conditioned comfort. The kids idolized those girls at that moment.

Finally, the Thunderbirds took the the skies, and were (as expected) phenomenal. We watched their performance form the parking lot, but as you can see, they didn't disappoint:


It was totally worth the trip. Hopefully, we'll go next year as well.

There's Nothing Like A Good Piece Of Hickory

What Kind of Western Bad-Ass Are You?

You scored as Clint Eastwood.

Names aren't important as you dish out steaming bowls of piping hot brutality to your enemies. You also enjoy a good spaghetti dinner once in a while. (H/T - Snigs)

Pringles Can Designer Buried In Invention

I wonder if he settled upon shipping?

CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- The man who designed the Pringles potato chip packaging system was so proud of his accomplishment that a portion of his ashes has been buried in one of the iconic cans.

Fredric J. Baur, of Cincinnati, died May 4 at Vitas Hospice in Cincinnati, his family said. He was 89.

Baur requested the burial arrangement because he was proud of his design of the Pringles container, a son, Lawrence Baur of Stevensville, Michigan, said Monday. (H/T - CNN)

Good grief. Do you think the FDA had to update the Nutritional Information on the can before the burial?

Yeah, I'm going to Hell.

A Huge Announcement!

I'm goin' to Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come . . .

Okay, technically it's Topeka, Kansas, but the radio station reaches Kansas City. Did I mention the radio station? See, I'm so excited, that I'm even more incoherent than I usually am here. Here's the story:

On Saturday, I received an e-mail from Tom Goodrich. He and his wife blog at Mason-Dixon Wild West. We've e-mailed back and forth a few times, so when I saw the e-mail, I figured they were coming to town.

I figured wrong. Since the last time we talked, Tom's wife Deb landed a gig as a radio talk show host on KMAJ 1440 - AM.

And, believe it or not, she wants to interview me on the show!! (Yeah, I thought it was a joke, too.)

Before she could rescind the offer, I happily accepted. She'll be interviewing me about being all sorts of interesting stuff. I am scheduled to go on the air at 10am (EDT) and will be given the entire half hour.

The news has raised two other issues:

• First, since I will soon be a huge celebrity, I will have no more use for you, my readers.
• Second, for $50 I will pimp your blog during the interview. Loosen those purse strings!

Okay, I was kidding about the above, but I had to throw some funny in here to ease my butterflies. I'm not gonna lie; I am incredibly nervous, but I think this is really cool. An honor, actually. I hope I don't make Tom and Deb regret their decision.

If you're interested, you can listen online HERE.

Larry Mendte: Target Of Federal Probe

Don't you just love it when a scumbag media type gets his comeuppance? I'll bet his cell mate in Federal prison thinks he's Mendte fresh. Heh.

CBS 3 anchor Larry Mendte is the target of a federal investigation. Mendte's attorney, Michael Schwartz, confirms the FBI searched Mendte's home in a case involving former CBS 3 anchor Alycia Lane.

According to a published report, Mendte's computer was seized by the FBI as part of a probe into whether Mendte accessed the private e-mail of Ms. Lane. Federal law generally prohibits accessing and reading someone's private e-mail without their permission.

CBS 3 has issued the following statement: "Late last week, CBS 3 became aware of an investigation by the U.S. Attorney's Office regarding anchor Larry Mendte. CBS 3 is cooperating fully with that office in this matter. Mr. Mendte will not be on CBS 3's broadcasts pending further investigation." (CBS3)

I almost feel badly for Mendte, because any time a cop-punching piece of garbage like Alycia Lane gets her rights violated, it's a good day.

Happy Birthday, D!

Me (in fat mode) and D at my friend Gerry's wedding.

Today is my former partner D's birthday. She is in her early thirties, but doesn't look a day over 25. (Although I am a big, dumb guy, I am not dumb enough to post her age here.)

She's the best partner I have ever had, and easily one of the best police officers I have ever known. I miss working with her, but she's too stubborn to heed my advice and take the detective's exam. She should know by now that "Wyatt is always right!"

Happy Birthday, D!

"Checking" Out The Good Stuff

Nice check, kid. Nice check.

Sorry about the lack o' posting folks, but I spent the day with the kids at the McGuire AFB Air Expo in New Jersey. If rocked, totally and completely. I'll post about it - with pics and video - shortly, but in the meantime, here's a photo from Kyle's lacrosse game.

He's in the yellow on the right.

Barack Obama "Resigns" From His Church

Senator Obama introduces his remaining credibility (left).

Resigns? Did he offer a letter of resignation, or did he just not show up for church this week?

(CNN) -- Sen. Barack Obama said Saturday that he has resigned from the church where controversial sermons by his former pastor and other ministers created political headaches for his campaign.

Wow, and after only twenty years of listening to racist, anti-Semitic pastors and ministers? Now that's forward thinking!

"We don't want to have to answer for everything that's stated in the church," the Democratic front-runner said. "We also don't want the church subjected to the scrutiny that a presidential campaign legitimately undergoes."

So, he is resigning to protect the church and for political expediency. Wow, it's the best of both worlds!

Obama said he was resigning "with some sadness."

"This is not a decision I come to lightly," he said. (H/T - CNN)

Of course he is resigning with "some sadness." It's only "some," because he agrees with a lot of what Trinity United Church of Christ stands for. Otherwise, he would have left the church a long time ago.

Amazingly, Hillary Clinton is looking more and more like the Democrats' better, stronger candidate.