Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hate Mail O' The Week

This week’s entry comes from “Mel,” who (after this comment) is now in the running for moron of the year.

Mel decided to chime in on the very timely post entitled, “ACORN Invades Philadelphia.” A post which was written four and a half months ago! Why do these idiots always submit their hate mail too late for anyone to see it?

Anyway, here is her comment, printed in its entirety and completely unedited. You may want to grab a roll of duct tape and a red pen for grammatical corrections. Enjoy!

So I just stumbled on to this “site”… and though I’d post a comment.

I live and work in Philly, I don’t care for ACORN or the present and prior mayor of the city…

But I do support any reasonable effort to get monies owed to the city into its coffers. The stadium and all of the infrastructure around it was paid for by city residents who live there- not by the idiots in the burbs or Jersey who complain about the city.

And honesty life under Obama’s thumb?

I’m better off now than I was under nixon, regan, bush the first, and clinton… so keep it up whatever it is you do here , ‘cos we all need to laugh at you taking advantage of your limited free speech no matter how sophomoric it is. God Bless America! Land of welfare for the culturally ignorant and money hungry!

God, I really love this blog. If anyone else gets hate mail this good, I would like to see it. Okay, here are my responses to this bimbo, addressed by paragraph:

Paragraph #1 – Mel, few people stumble onto this site. SYLG has earned 645,000 hits in four years, and averages over 1,000 visits a day. Nice try, though. I like how you call it a “site” and use the parentheses, although they are not needed. This website is genuine, and fulfills the dictionary definition as such.

Oh, you probably “thought” you’d post a comment. Grammar/spell check is a wonderful thing.

Paragraph #2 – It only took two paragraphs to show Melly to be a liar. Her IP Address shows she was posting from Hillsborough, New Jersey, which is closer to Manhattan than Philly. So, the chances that she lives and works in Philadelphia are slim.

And she doesn’t care for ACORN or Philly’s last two mayors? Uh-huh. Sure. On the plus side, this broad didn’t have any grammatical errors in this paragraph. Good for you, Mel!

Paragraph #3 – I agree that monies owed the city should be paid – by everyone, not just rich, white folks. I said as much in the original article. Mello then goes on to insinuate that I am somehow an “idiot in the burbs or Jersey.” As a Philadelphia police detective, I live and work here – that’s easily proven. Mel? Not so much.

Again, no grammatical or spelling errors. Two in a row, Shakespeare!

Paragraph #4 – Okay, that’s not a paragraph. It’s a sentence fragment, but I’ll let it slide. I’m cool like that. And yes, I had that quote at the top of the page. Socialized health care – which Obama will force all of us to join – and crippling taxes – which Obama will force us to pay – are examples of being under his thumb.

You forgot a comma after “honestly,” though. Almost had the hat trick.

Paragraph #5 – Melvina, the first sentence is a grammatical abortion. Luckily, you Lefties love murdering babies, so I guess that’s right up your alley. The first sentence is an absolute lie. With this collapsing economy, you are in no way better off now than you were under Reagan or Clinton. I see you forgot George W. Bush in your list, though, so I guess you were better off under him. Good for you!

As far as what I do here, I try to entertain people by posting comments from trolls. You ma’am, will be responsible for today’s entertainment, so I should be thanking you. As for the limited free speech crack, you’re right: under Obama’s thumb, a lot of people may have their free speech rights severely curtailed. Remember that when you cannot leave dopey comments on a very popular blog anymore.

God Bless America? Finally, we agree on something! Welfare? Nah, not so much. I work very hard at what I do, and with the amount of overtime I receive for taking the scum off the streets, I could probably buy and sell your whole family. So, yes, I am probably money hungry. God bless capitalism! Culturally ignorant? I speak passable Spanish, and have worked in North Philadelphia (a primarily African American and Asian neighborhood) for five years, and Kensington (a primarily Latino neighborhood) for six years. As George Costanza would say, “I have culture out the ying yang!”

Oh, and proper names are capitalized, you dope – and you misspelled “Reagan.”

So, in closing, I would like to say thank you, Mel, for your comment. It will now be transported to the SYLG Hall of Records, where your idiocy will be displayed for eternity. For you see, when you post something on the Internet, it is there forever.

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