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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Hate Mail O' The Week

Wow, it’s rough when I get my Hate Mail O’ The Week on a Monday night. I must be hitting on some of the wingnuts’ nerves. It’s Guinness time!

This doozy is from “Kate Smith” of Lansdale, PA, who lashes out in typical libtard fashion – completely off point. She sent an e-mail, most likely typed in crayon, voicing her displeasure with this post about idiot Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell. Her major issue, besides her progressing mental illness, is the gun rights brouhaha. An issue that is not mentioned in this article at all. In fact, the original article dealt with Governor Ed Rendell’s plan to balance the state budget on the backs of our veterans. Only one comment out of 21 mentioned the gun rights issue, but that was enough for Miss ADHD. Enjoy!

So many hateful comments…it’s a shame no one has anything constructive to say about how to actually balance the state’s budget.

I hope that us left wing nut jobs do pass a law to take your guns away…crazy people should not have access to fire power. And by the way, if you are all so ‘tough’ then why do you need a gun to protect yourselves? You’re fearful, hateful people who couldn’t figure your way out of a paper bag.

And someday I would love to have a police officer actually ‘protect and serve’ rather than abuse his/her power towards the very citizens who pay their salaries.

So, take your guns and shove ‘em…peace and love, Kate

My oh my, where to begin? Let me dissect this piece of literary brilliance one paragraph at a time.

Paragraph #1: Hey Kate, I realize that you, like Wile E. Coyote, are a super-genius, but you completely missed the point of the post. The post primarily dealt with Rendell’s despicable actions to our fighting men and women. A group of people he has shown nothing but disdain for since his election. Besides, if someone offered anything “constructive” to say about the budget crisis, what makes you think he would listen? Rendell is (thankfully) a lame duck, and he doesn’t give a rat’s arse about what I – or you – have to say about Harrisburg’s fiscal abortion. Did you understand my paragraph, darling, or should I type slower?

As for the hateful comments, let’s see: I called him a piece of slimy, worm-ridden filth – that was swiped from Return of the Jedi, by the way. I called him a scrote – which is completely accurate. And I called his a slimy bastard – also accurate. Check back with me after he leaves office (or if the rumors are to be believed, well before) and see if you love the governor when certain “issues” become public. You’ll know what I mean when the media finally publishes them, deary.

Paragraph #2: First of all, Katy, it is grammatically correct to write “I hope that us we left wing nut jobs do pass a law . . . ” I fixed that for you because I’m nice like that. It should be “we” left wing nut jobs, and the “do” there is superfluous. Don’t you have a copy of the Heath Handbook by your computer, honey?

As for the rambling content of your second paragraph, I can only offer this. There’s this little thing called the Constitution. The writers of the Constitution (read: evil white men) determined in the Second Amendment that “[a] well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Now, being a super-genius, I realize that you think you are smarter than Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Thomas Paine, and James Madison, but baby, you would be mistaken.

The Second Amendment is sitting there in the Bill of Rights, and while you and your jackass friends think these rights should be taken away, it is not going to happen – no matter what President HopeyChange thinks.

As far as your “tough” taunt, I laugh in your general direction, because you have obviously never been a victim of violent crime. For 15 years, I have patrolled the most dangerous streets in Philadelphia, and I always smile when I see a liberal change their spots. It usually happens three seconds after some toad poor, misunderstood ute sticks a shotgun in their face. It’s funny how the criminals always get their hands on a gun, isn’t it Kat?

But hey, take away everyone’s firearms. That’ll stop the violence. Oh wait, that will just exacerbate it, since the only ones with the firearms would be the cops and the criminals. Good plan there, sweetie.

Paragraph #3: Sugar, you live in the Lansdale area. You do not pay my salary. The fact of the matter is that the people who I serve and protect usually don’t pay my salary, either, since few people in North Philly ever bother to pay their taxes. Not that it matters, because am a professional, and do my job well. Last night, for example, I arrested a woman who stabbed her husband with a serrated knife because she wanted to watch a different television show. A few hours later, I arrested a man who defrauded three people out of almost $100,000. Do you think that these people and the previously mentioned husband are better off today, or worse? Think that over, doll face.

Thank you, though, for taking a page out of the Democrat playbook. “Chapter 12: The Police Are Liars And Racists.”

Paragraph #4: Terrific ending here, Katey. Throw out a hateful insult to make your point about the “hateful” comments of the post. Did you even read this thing before you hit “Enter?” Thank you for your correspondence. You have given the gift of laughter to a lot of people today.

Strangely enough, this knucklehead actually responded to a post in a timely fashion. Katie was only 17 days late! Kudos, ma’am. Kudos!

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