Meet Dan The Delivery Driver With The Diet Coke At This House

Aging Dan The Delivery Driver - he is 70 years old - and getting ready to stop working.

Amazingly, Dan received a nice thing for all the times they worked.

GNN reported that the conscientious efforts of a 70-year-old delivery driver left an Idaho man so taken aback, he raised $24,000 on GoFundMe to reward the employee, who told him he was mere weeks away from retirement.

Well the nation has clearly concurred that Dan the Dominoes deliveryman deserves a decent retirement, and it’s sent the GoFundMe to the moon, having surpassed $129,000 at publishing time.

The story began in late March when Wilson ordered a pizza and Diet Coke for delivery, but was called by the store later to explain that they had no Diet Coke and the driver had already left. He didn’t think much of it—because he didn’t know that Dan had stopped at a nearby store to pick up the soda especially for him, an extra mile that took just 3 minutes, Dan later admitted.

“We were honestly blown away. That level of care and kindness is rare these days,” Wilson wrote on GoFundMe. “Let’s show Dan that his kindness didn’t go unnoticed. Let’s help him step into retirement feeling appreciated, supported, and celebrated.”

A lot or people threw out some nice money for Dan's years, and now he can finally retire.

Such a great number of people wanted to give Dan some money.

Meet Anthony Buhl And March Chadwick, They Like Taking A Dead Alligator... For Fun

Two tourists are facing felony charges after they were spotted road tripping across Florida with a dead alligator strapped to the roof of their car, according to court records.

Witnesses first reported seeing the gator-adorned vehicle as it traveled near the Walt Disney World Resort outside Orlando on Saturday.

Police license plate readers subsequently tracked the auto as it moved through other Central Florida locales.

The "men" decided to strap a dead alligator on the top of their car.

It's a damned shame the gator didn't get out and eat Buhl and Chadwick.

And They're Off!

Kentucky Cops Arrest Equestrian, 48, For GUI (Galloping Under The Influence)

The driver, Kentucky cops say, had just left a liquor store, smelled of alcohol, and was found “partially slumped over” the controls of his brown vehicle.

As a result, Jorge Hernandez, 48, was arrested for galloping under the influence (GUI) through a residential neighborhood in Bowling Green.

According to an arrest report, an officer spotted the sagging Hernandez atop a horse around 6 PM Thursday. When Hernandez began to ride on the sidewalk, the cop performed a traffic stop.

Seen above, Hernandez reportedly smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes, and his speech was slurred. He told police that he had just left a liquor store and was returning home.

Tied to the horse’s saddle was a liquor store bag, the report states.

Any of you ladies want to hang out with this guy?

Very Little Content, But Remember Easter And The Lord Has Risen

Remember the Lord, and how he suffered and died for all of us.

Meet Kaylyn Blain, She Really Likes Pickles

When officers arrived on the scene, “there were pickles and pickle juice scattered across the apartment.”

And Kaylyn Blain’s “boyfriend and co-habitant” had a knot on the top of his head where she allegedly had clobbered him with a glass jar of the briny delicacy.

According to police, Blain, 32, and the 34-year-old victim argued Monday morning about the cleanliness of their Clearwater, Florida apartment. Blain and the man have dated for six years and are parents of a two-year-old girl.

After being accused of “making the mess,” Blain reportedly got agitated and grabbed the glass jar of pickles from which she had been noshing (around 10 AM).

Blain then allegedly struck the victim in the head with the jar, resulting in the pickle splatter observed by police.

One wonders where she holds her pickles.

Someone Got The Tiger

Tiger Woods told cops that he was looking down at his cell phone moments before the rollover crash that resulted in his arrest on DUI charges, according to a police report filed today.

Cops allege that the “lethargic” Woods, 50, failed a series of roadside sobriety tests and showed signs of impairment following the March 27 crash near his residence on Jupiter Island, Florida.

I love golf, and Woods was one of my favorite, but at this point, I think Tiger should toss your clubs into the water.

It's a disgrace that he even shows his face in public.

A Man Was Arrested Who Was Playing As An Easter Bunny

A New Jersey man is behind bars for allegedly groping the Easter Bunny at a Pennsylvania shopping center.

According to police, Shivakrishna Bera, 36, was at the South Hills Village Mall in Pittsburgh on Monday when he approached the area where a woman dressed as the Easter Bunny was posing for photos.

A New Jersey man. That figures.

Bera was subsequently arrested inside a movie theater near the mall. When questioned by officers about the Easter Bunny incident, Bera reportedly asked, “It’s a doll, right?” When told a person was inside the costume, Bera said, “By mistake, my hand touched her, if it’s a lady.”

I assume Shivakrishna Bera will be having fun with his giant friend in his jail.

For Those Who Haven't Seen It...

I retired from the Philadelphia Police on November.

When I came home, Missus Banzai wanted me to look for more work.

I wanted to chill for a while, and Missus Banzai went back to an elementary school.

She wanted to go back to teaching, and after a while I really loved staying at home.

I'd take the kids to school, I did the washing, and try to do things to fix the house.

After a while, I suggested that I stay at home, and since my pension is ridiculous, that's where we are now.

We finally found how much they give you, thanks to the thirty years I gave to Philadelphia.

Amazing, how much the department gives you so much after when you finally realize how much they gave to us.

Police Summoned To Handle A Sticky Bun Dispute.

Domestic disputes that require police intervention are never a laughing matter.

Unless, of course, two siblings are threatening to kill each other over “who ate the last sticky bun.”

Police responded Monday afternoon to a Williamsport, Pennsylvania residence to handle “a domestic in progress, no weapons, no intoxication,” according to dispatch audio.

Williamsport, Pennsylvania - ovbiously - the siblings fought - for a sticky bun.

Amazingly the two could not get through the dispute, probably because they were too stupid to figure to slice the bun.

Mr. Sticky’s offers several varieties, including a cinnamon bun “topped with our special and delectable cream cheese icing” that clearly would be worth fighting over.

Idiots.

Well, I Wish This Was Better, But...

I have always been a fan of the current president and the vice-president.

The people in Washington always sent three or four times sent to my phone.

The people in the White House started sending more nonsense, and since my wife is dealing with problems, I didn't want the constant nonsense from stupid stuff I don't want to see.

Two people in a White House were constantly sending things I did not want to hear. My wife has serious problems.

Both people in the White House continued sending these, every three or four times. I finally lost it and said,

"My wife has internal problems, and you people continually ignore this!"

I assume I'll be getting problems over this, but my wife is better than politics.