If It Weren't For Bad Luck . . .

(Jeff Gordon, preparing to give "the finger" to NASCAR.)

What a de-diddly-lightful weekend for this gunslinger. Let's chronicle the misery, shall we?

• On Saturday, my beloved Michigan Wolverines got whupped by a bunch of drunks (read: The Fighting Irish). I can say this, since I happen to be Irish. After replaying the game in my puny little brain, I have come to this conclusion: if Michigan Sophomore QB Chad Henne doesn't fumble at the 1-yard line, the blue and maize win the game. Dang. At the rate they're going, UM is gonna have trouble with Penn Freakin' State!
• Later that evening, the boys of NASCAR ran in Richmond in the final event before the Chase for the Nextel Cup (read: playoffs). Jeff Gordon needed to finish in the top ten in the overall standings to be eligible for this year's title, and as was the case for most of the season, he came up smaller than Ray Nagin. "Wonder Boy" finished a dismal 30th, and looked more like Gordon Shumway than Jeff Gordon.
• Here's a little news flash: I am a nerd. As such, it is my civic duty to join fantasy sports leagues. Football is usually first on the list. I am currently involved in three leagues (one at nfl.com, and two at yahoo.com) and on paper my teams looked fairly decent. That's why they play the games. Barring a miracle, I am going to go 0-3 in my league games this week (including the one created by The Man), primarily because I started players that I thought would do well. From now on, I will do the opposite, a la George Costanza.