"They're Real . . . "

" . . . and they're spectacular!"

I can't believe this is news.

"Tyra Banks underwent a televised sonogram on her new talk show to prove that her breasts aren't fake. 'I'm tired of this rumor. It's something that's followed me forever,' the supermodel said Tuesday on 'The Tyra Banks Show.'"

I'm not sure what's more disturbing; the fact that Tyra thinks that people actually care if her breasts are real or fake, or that this empty-headed bimbo has her own talk show!

I heard on the Stern show this morning that during the "examination," Banks actually broke down in tears because of the fantastic plastic rumor. I mean, come on! Look, personally, I think Tyra is uber-hot, but the second she opens her mouth, the fantasy dissolves faster than Alka-Seltzer.

Here's a word of advice, sugar: pose for the damn photos, and worry about looking pretty. Trust me, in a world of al Qaeda, hurricanes, and Hillary Clinton, no one cares about your "issues."