"You're A Rabid Anti-Dentite!"

"Next thing you know you're saying they should have their own schools."

I was never a big fan of going to the dentist. When I was a kid, the clown I used to visit was pretty much a sadist with newer magazines. He once pulled a loose tooth out of my mouth with his bare hands - I kid you not - and he was not a believer in novacaine.

Fast forward about 15 years. My wife had me see her dentist, who she said was terrific. She was right. Dr. Flynn was absolutely pain-free; he even dulled the gums before he administered the needle for the novacaine! Totally kick ass!

And then he retired.

That was two years ago, and I haven't been to the dentist since. (We spent that time looking for someone good.) Today, I visited the new dentist, Dr. Bendler. He's very good, and a nice enough guy, but the "cleaning" from the hot little dental hygenist was an exercise in torture. Short version: imagine a lot of pain and blood. Two years of plaque requires some elbow grease to come off. I was too busy wincing to notice the hygenist's hotness. Powerfully uncool. Thankfully, I had no cavities, so all in all, I reckon it was a good day.