A "Jump" To Conclusions Mat

(Mariano's henchmen "taking care of" evidence.)

It's always about him.

Uber-corrupt Philadelphia City Councilman Rick Mariano sprinted to the top of the City Hall tower this afternoon, threatening to kill himself over his upcoming federal indictment. The charges? Corruption, what else? With all due respect to Jimmy B, Mariano is a former union electrician, and Philadelphia's union leadership makes gangland Chicago look respectable! Mariano has denied the corruption charges, and - laughably - claimed that he is only a target because he is a "blue collar guy" and because of his "lack of pigmentation." Puh-lease!

Let me give you a little background on the "esteemed" councilman, since I have dealt with this poor excuse for a civil servant many, many times:

In every election in which Mariano has run, his union goons have intimidated and/or threatened voters as they entered the polls. Mariano, of course, denied these charges, but the absurd amount of police reports refutes his claims.

When I worked in the Kensington section of the city (read: white trash heaven), Mariano, who is not a police officer, would make car stops and call us for backup! The first words out of his mouth were always, "Do you know who I am?," then he would demand that we arrest/ticket the operator of the vehicle for whatever offense he deemed appropriate. Of course, while we were "backing up" this piece of detritus, the real criminals were raping and pillaging the district. What could we do? He was a councilman, and he had the power to get us transferred, post haste.

Unfortunately, the coward didn't jump, as I knew he wouldn't. He just wanted the media coverage and sympathy from any prospective juries. So, excuse me for laughing at his demise just a little bit.

(Mariano, distraught over his upcoming stay in Federal "Pound You In The Ass" Prison)