Just when you thought it was safe to unwrap your head . . .
Plans are in the works to "reunite" Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco with "Long Island Lolita" Amy Fisher for a televised reality special. You may remember, but don't care, that Fisher shot Mary Jo in the face after having an affair with Joey. Unfortunately, the bullet didn't fix Mary Jo's horrific "Lawng Ayyyyyland" accent. Producers wouldn't comment whether metal detectors would be placed in the studio. (H/T, The New York Post)
Paris Hilton told The London Sun that she will not pose for Playboy. Thump! (Sorry, that was me hitting the floor.) Hilton "claims" that the magazine is very interested in her posing nude. Like that hasn't been done to death. "They've asked me a million times," the tramp said. "I'll never do it. Why? Because I'm Paris Hilton." Paris didn't add the fact that the entire planet already saw her nether-regions in action on her pornographic home video.
Janet Jackson has allegedly gained more than forty pounds recently, weighing in at a cool 160. It's much more acceptable when a normal woman gains some weight, but what's your excuse when you have nothing to do all day, and can easily afford a personal trainer? It looks like Janet's next "wardrobe malfunction" will involve a popped button and a lost eye!
After promoting Heather Graham's new series (Emily's Reason's Why Not) ad nauseum, the rocket scientists at ABC cancelled the show after only one episode! "It was not going to get better," one exec said, "and we had to make a change." Can network bigwigs be sued for malpractice?
Love your humor. This was good :-).
ReplyDeleteHeh, I thought it was "Lawn Geyeland."
ReplyDeleteIs that where they make iced tea? ;-)
ReplyDeleteMaybe we'll finally get to see Mary Jo and Amy beat the S*** out of Joey. He's such an arse. White trash reunited.
I'm with rt on the trio match up--I'd definitely watch that! He's long overdue!
ReplyDeleteHey Wyatt, loved it funny stuff!! btw, whipped your butt on the caption contest!! Whoo Hoo!!
ReplyDeleteDid she really shoot her in the face?? I am too young to remember.
ReplyDeleteParis has shown her nether regions to almost as many people as Wilt "the Stilt"
Janet: She had to weigh 160 before she blossomed. She's got more "back" than J-Lo
And Wyatt, When Sssstevie boy says "whip your butt" and then shouts "Whoo Hoo", I would check your "nether regions"
I noticed Jimmy Kimmel had that one episode of that show (Whatever the name) for sale.
ReplyDeleteWhy won't Paris pose in playboy? Is she afraid people might cancel there subscriptions?
Jackson? HA what a psycho.
Yes, mr.cool, she shot her in the face. I think she still has a bullet in her jaw. Not too young to read the endless stories, are you, babycakes? They both should have shot Joey, the annoying loudmouth!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Linda but I'm still stuck on the part about "I'm too young to remember". Oh OUCH!! Joe un-cool.
ReplyDeleteI think Paris only flashes her hoo haw for free. I think she counts it as her charitable gesture for the evening...
ReplyDeleteToo Young??? What is this place a rest home?? Maybe I just don't remember all the details! So there!!
ReplyDeleteWhere's my mommy?
Maybe all three can get together with George Galloway and start their own sitcom.
ReplyDelete