There is no NASCAR race this week, and the Busch Series drivers are racing in Mexico City. Hopefully, some of the fans there won’t try and stowaway in the trunks, but that’s another story. Today will find most race fans with nothing to do. Thankfully, I have some suggestions:
Top Ten Things To Do During A NASCAR Bye Week
10. Stand on the side of Interstate 95 and yell things at oncoming traffic.
9. Kick Jack Roush in the lug nuts.
8. For a change, pay attention to your family between 1 and 5pm.
7. Drink a tall cool glass of 10W40.
6. Make a record “qualifying time” in the bedroom.
5. Sit outside a Jiffy Lube and breath in the fumes.
4. Do doughnuts on your neighbor’s lawn.
3. Ram the vehicle driving next to you then yell, “Rubbin’s racin’.”
2. Since he’ll be home, leave a flaming bag of poop on Tony Stewart’s doorstep.
And the number one thing to do on a NASCAR Bye Week . . .
1. Try to “bump draft” the cute girl in the checkout line.
#2 should be #1.
ReplyDelete#1 should be #2-#9.
Everyone's goal should be throwing poop, or mailing poop to “Manatee” Stewart.
I'm thinking the wife might not be too crazy about #6
ReplyDeleteI'll have you know I avoided anything with a checkout line today in fear of making new friends...
ReplyDeleteTyler - Well said, brother!
ReplyDeleteCP - Nah, probably not.
Rach - Dang, and I was out trolling . . .
I think you and Tyler are secretly attracted to Tony. Badmouthing him is just a vain attempt to allay suspicion.
ReplyDelete