People I Hate

Charlie Sheen

This one pains me, because I am the world’s biggest Major League fan. Hell, I even started rooting for the Cleveland Indians after I saw that film. Still do, by the way. Unfortunately, Charlie Sheen is now starting to take after his jackass father. Recently “Wild Thing” demanded that the “truth” about 9-11 be revealed to the public. Sheen prattles on about the grand conspiracy of that day, and even suggests that perhaps the United States – and, of course, the Bush Administration - was involved:

"It seems to me like 19 amateurs with box cutters taking over four commercial airliners and hitting 75% of their targets, that feels like a conspiracy theory. It raises a lot of questions."

"There was a feeling, it just didn't look any commercial jetliner I've flown on any time in my life and then when the buildings came down later on that day I said to my brother 'call me insane, but did it sorta look like those buildings came down in a controlled demolition?"

Sentiments such as these are not even worth a response. Do us a favor, Charlie; start doing what you do best and go back to consorting with hookers.

Helen Thomas

How can this octogenarian Muppet be considered a “journalist” after the third degree she gave President Bush this week? Does anyone in the country believe she is an impartial, unbiased reporter? Many people in the media today have their own agenda, or slant to either the right or the left. Thomas is in another category, distinctly her own. It’s time we put this skank out to pasture. Or, like a horse with a broken leg, shoot her.

Philadelphia Mayor John F. Street

Johnny – the world’s most corrupt mayor - is fast becoming a fixture at PIH, but this week he really earned his stripes. My neighbor Denny attended the local civic association meeting on Monday and found out that Street was the only person in the city that knew of the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition mess. Street also gave the show carte blanche to do whatever they wanted to the target home, and, by proxy, to my neighborhood.

Hell, what does he care? They won’t be working around the clock in his neighborhood.