SYLG Profile: Fish

There’s nothing like saving family for last. “Fish” is the last of my inner circle that Deathlok once referred to as “The Rude 5” - (Me, Vinnie, Fish, The Badger, and Louie the Lock). Another Archbishop Ryan grad, Fish played saxophone in the marching band, and, with the exception of Clarence Clemmons, was the only “cool” person in history to do so.

And “cool” is the perfect description of Fish:

He is the only person north of the Mason-Dixon Line to sport a mullet and get away with it.

He is the only person who could have gotten away with wearing his “Technicolor Dreamcoat” (a white sport jacket with rainbow pinstripes) to a band recital.

He is the only person of “The Rude 5” that I have never seen get angry. It is widely speculated that if everyone Fish ever knew perished in a horrible blimp attack, Fish would shrug his shoulders and say, “Eh, what are ya gonna do?”

Hell, he didn’t even get mad when a certain future blogger dated (and eventually married) his sister, Leanne.

Fish attended Penn State University, and put his music background to good use. He hosted his own show at the University radio station entitled “The Jazz Spectrum.” The fact that Fish knows little to nothing about jazz did not deter him, but he often got in trouble for playing some of his favorite “jazz” artists, like Elvis Costello and Peter Gabriel. Fish told us that he “was in the biz” now, and he had an excuse for the long hair.

“The Biz” came calling after college, and Fish answered on the first ring, landing a job at Discmakers. The best part of his new job was trying to explain what he actually did there, since (at the time of his hiring) Discmakers did not make discs. Conventional wisdom around the circle was that “Discmakers” was actually a CIA front, and that Fish is a highly trained assassin. Today, Discmakers is a fairly successful firm, which has produced music CD’s for Eminem, The Smithereens, and local Irish favorites Blackthorne.

After landing a job, Fish landed the Mother of All Hotties, Sharon. Sharon, a farm girl from the Pittsburgh suburbs, was Fish’s college sweetheart. We all knew he really loved her, because he kept us as far away from her as humanly possible. Tall, blonde, and absolutely fabulous, Sharon is always the unanimous winner in our weekly “Who Has the Hottest Wife” debates. Fish and Sharon have been blessed with a lovely (extremely tall) daughter, and active twin boys. Not bad for a former band geek.