Well, it's been a few days of hot Love Fest action between myself and Captain Den, but I think it's time to truly welcome him into the fold with another edition of Filthy Half-Truths. Enjoy.
Filthy Half-Truths About Captain Den
* Den has a schoolgirl crush on Rush Limbaugh.
* Although he is a "firefighter," Den is so scared of flames that he has his wife light the barbecue.
* Den voted for Hillary Clinton for Senator, and plans to vote for her for President.
* The '73 Firebird that sits on Den's front lawn is not "redneck" - it's "Classic American Workmanship."
* Den shares a kinship with Pandy. Not because they were both in the army, but because Den likes to wear makeup.
* A former tanker, Den used to get his kicks by running over cats with the treads.
* Den doesn't let his kids watch Sesame Street because the show is "just a bunch of tree-hugging, liberal, commie crap!"
* With the arrival of his children, Den had to sell his motorcycle. Since then, he refers to his kids as Harley and David.
* Den believes Own Wilson is the greatest actor of our generation.
* After a family member called Den's G.I. Joe collection "dolls," Den beat the man to death with a Mobile Command Post.
No comments:
Post a Comment