Gym Dandy

Your buff author in just a few short weeks.

Everything hurts.

Today I followed the lead of the missus, and joined the Northeast Racquet Club & Fitness Center. Unhappy with the taunts of "Fatty McButterpants" and "Captain Neckfat," I figured it was time to do something about it instead of stuffing my gullet with Ho-Ho's. Mmm . . . Ho-Ho's! The wife joined a few weeks ago and loves it, so I climbed aboard (the gym, not the wife).

Today, I hit the weights and the elliptical machine. This contraption is like a stepper on crack, and the body liked it. My knees? Not so much. I slinked home and instead of being able to take a 16-hour nap, the wife decided it would be a good idea to take the kids to the park. The boys headed for the playground, while I mumbled, "Oh look. A bench!"

I know I need to get in shape for hockey - which begins on Sunday night. I know I need to lose A LOT of weight. I know it's not going to be easy - even though I have an appointment with the personal trainer next week. (Please be a babe! Please be a babe! Please be a babe!)

And I hope I stay motivated enough to go to the gym at least three times a week.