Tuesday, October 10, 2006

An SYLG Commercial Break

Good afternoon, comrades. My name is Kim Jong Il and I am the unquestioned exalted imperial leader of North Korea. During my benevolent reign, I have battled Yankee imperialist dogs, our sub-human cousins in the South, and those bastards from across the Sea of Japan. These battles will all in end in victory, but I am here to tell you about my greatest battle: the battle against male pattern baldness.

What, you thought this squirrel’s nest atop my head was natural?

There was a time when I thought the slaves in my harem would never appreciate me as a man. Then I called the Hair Club for Dictators. I saw what terrific work they performed on my fellow dictators Saddam Hussein and Hugo Chavez, and said to myself, “That could be me!” My hair care fuehrer Adolph explained the procedures involved and even gave me a list of hair to choose from. I chose American buffalo, simply for the irony. The hair is real, and it can be styled to whatever specifications you desire. My personal favorite it the thinning pompadour; drives the slave girls wild!

Whether I’m enjoying a romantic dog dinner for two, or over-compensating for my defective Dong missile, I can now do so with confidence. You can even swim with it! Thank you Hair Club for Dictators!

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