Concrete Blonde

Okay, so I'm not a blonde. Big deal. However, after yesterday, my legs feel like concrete, and this was the only catchy title I could come up with. Last night, our hockey team played a game with only seven skaters. (For those of you out of the hockey loop, a team plays with five skaters at a time.) Factor in three fifteen-minute periods, and you can imagine how my teammates and I feel today.

Unfortunately for us, this team was not too good. I say unfortunately because if we had three more skaters, we probably would have spanked these toads by five or six goals. As it is, after leading the game 3-1, we ended up losing by a score of 5-4. It was not for a lack of effort, trust me.

I was at the game with Randal, Badger, Fish, and three other skaters, along with our goaltender, Boris. Vinnie had work commitments in New Hampshire, and missed all of the fun. (He was probably secretly meeting Finnish hockey babe Emma Laaksonen up there.) When the game started, we came out fighting and scored first. About halfway through the first period, though, many of us ran out of gas. We were icing the puck just for the fifteen second break. It was uglier than I am.

The second period started and we were exhausted from the onset. Thankfully, the refs - about whom we rarely complain - were brutal. It's as if we were the only ones on the ice doing stupid things. Well, I did a stupid thing, and received my first penalty in two seasons.

We were shorthanded, and the puck was behind our net. I was covering players down low, when my guy got free. The player behind the net passed it to him for what would be an easy goal. I couldn't let that happen, so I put my hands together, and with all of my might slammed him in the chest. The guy - who was a lot taller than me, noticed later - fell down like a bag of dirt. Not too happy, he slashed me in the shin guards. Here's what followed:

Toad: "F**king a**hole!"
Me: "Yeah, yeah."

Ref: "Blue, number 99, two minutes, roughing."
Me: "Come on, ref!"

Ref: "You're kidding, right? You crushed that guy."
Me: "No. I know that, but he slashed me after the play. Where's his penalty?"

Ref: "Take a seat."
Me: "Dang."

I almost needed directions to the sin bin, because I hadn't seen it in such a long while. Luckily for me, we killed the penalty, so the infraction was definitely worth it. Randal even yelled, "Nice check!" (It's a no-check league.) Oh well, what are ya gonna do?

It was a good effort on our part, and Randal, Badger, and Fish played terrific hockey. Me? Not so much. Our next game is Wednesday night at 10:10pm.