Real Detective Phone Calls

I swear to God, I have to stop answering the phone in the division.

Last Wednesday, the division gets a call from a detective in Winslow Township, New Jersey. The detective tells me that he is investigating an “abduction” of a child from Winslow Township, and needs our help.

Okay, no problem.

The detective then tells me that the father has the child, as part of a custody order, and mom wants him back. So, mom reported the child abducted. The detective, in turn, wants us to go to the father’s house and drag the child out.

Okay, problem.

When I told the detective that, in Philadelphia, detectives don’t handle custody cases, the courts do, he was not amused. After accusing me of not doing my job, I responded, “Well, sir, since this originated in Winslow Township, isn’t this your job?” The detective ended our conversation there.

For the record, I did send some officers out to the house, and the father was there with the child. According to the custody order, the father was not to turn over the child until the next day, but did so to appease the mother. You’re welcome, Winslow Township.