. . . if I didn't mention Vinnie Antonelli's birthday, which was this past Saturday. Even though I am a few days late, I can still offer his friends a few gift ideas.
Top Ten Gift Ideas For Vinnie
10. A fantasy hockey team that doesn't blow.
9. Two pounds of congealed cheese fries.
8. A king's crown air freshener for his Pimpmobile.
7. A new bowl for his soup. (It's the only meal he ever gets.)
6. A slap shot, wrist shot, or an ability to kick pucks into a net.
5. A year's supply of Jameson Whiskey.
4. A mop to clean up the results of said whiskey.
3. Hockey socks that match his jersey. (Read: Garanimals)
2. A nice toupee, so we won't be blinded by his skin yarmulke.
And the number one gift idea for Vinnie is . . .
1. Emma Laaksonen's phone number.
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