A Very Badger Birthday

Today is The Badger’s 37th birthday. As part of my inner circle – the circle gets bigger every year to fit my fat ass inside – he gets a birthday mention, which has nothing to do with our hockey game tonight. He doesn’t have to pass to me if he doesn’t feel like it. Since I ripped, er, celebrated Vinnie’s birthday for almost a week, I should make an effort with The Badger.

The Top Ten Gift Ideas for The Badger

10. More kids. (HA!)
9. Two new knees so he can play goaltender again.
8. Two words: Chia hair.
7. The Half-Man, Half-Biscuit anthology.
6. Season tickets to the Philadelphia Flyers.
5. One day’s worth of cigarettes. (Read: ten cartons.)
4. A time machine so he can avoid marrying his awful first wife.
3. A thesaurus for his conversations with Jen The Librarian.
2. A dictionary to look up the word “thesaurus.”

And the number one gift idea for The Badger is . . .

1. That one college credit he needs to get his degree.