Predictions? Pain.

There's nothing like starting a post with a Mr. T quote (Rocky III). Being a master prognosticator - or is it procrastinator? - I figured I would throw some predictions at the bathroom stall, and see what sticks. Watch your eyes!

2007 will see Hillary Clinton finally officially announce her intention to run for President of the United States, but DNA tests will prove that she will not be elected the first "female" President.

2007 will be the year that Osama bin Laden is finally captured. Unfortunately, he will only be captured on film as part of the new straight-to-DVD series, "Muslims Gone Wild."

2007 will see the "Freedom Tower" project scrapped in favor of an exact replica of the World Trade Center. As an added twist, a giant foam middle finger, and two Patriot missile batteries will sit atop the new buildings.

2007 will be the year that Philadelphia's murder rate will decline. Don't get too excited: Mayor Street will only classify "murders" as people who are publicly hanged.

2007 will see Captain Den's blog "First In!" reach 20,000 visits by February 1. Why? Because he will inadvertently post naked pictures of Jessica Simpson, instead of what he wanted: naked pictures of Marge Simpson.

2007 will be a banner year for Prison Break Central, as the blog will raise its average visits per day from 10 to 15. Whoo hoo!

2007 will see a name change for The Man. GOP and the City will be renamed GOP and this Festering Suckhole, after Al Sharpton is elected mayor.

2007 will see Rachel, RT, Uber, and Pandy form an all-girl rock band named "The Hippie Rippers." Their debut single, "I Left My AK-47 In San Francisco" sells forty million copies.

2007 will be the year that Deathlok goes one week without an obscure pop culture reference. The shock wave of such an event will send the Dow Jones tumbling below the 10,000 mark.

2007 will be the year The Badger gets remarried. Jen the Librarian will set the trap, consisting of McFarlane NHL figures and promises of Hoegaarden beer.

2007 may be the year that Vinnie Antonelli gets back in the scoring column. Once veritable scoring threat, Vinnie hasn't lit the lamp once this season. For shame!

And finally, 2007 will be yet another year that SYLG bathes in blogosphere obscurity. As usual, I will be called a Nazi, a neo-con, a racist, a liar, and even a Notre Dame fan by some "readers" who don't have a sense of humor. It's gonna be a great year!