The Virginia Tech Massacre: A Snarky Retrospective

Editor's Note: If you're a fan of the usual snark and sarcasm found here at SYLG, be forewarned: I may piss a lot of you off today. As usual, I won't lose any sleep over it.

Yesterday's Virginia Tech "massacre" - I prefer "bloodbath" or "32 accidental discharges" - is dominating today's news. And I'm already sick of it. Simply stated, I don't care. But, if we get All VT All The Time like we did with Columbine, I'm gonna go on a rampage!

Anyway, the piece of detritus on the left is Cho Seung-Hui; the architect of the mass murder. Born in South Korea, Cho emigrated to the States in 1992.

A note believed to have been written by Cho was found in his dorm room that railed against "rich kids," "debauchery" and "deceitful charlatans" on campus.

Oh, I get it. Like the Duke lacrosse miscarriage, Cho was trying to settle up with "Whitey?" Is anyone buying that . . . besides the liberal media, that is? I always love it when gun-toting loners drip hypocrisy off their bandoleers. According to the articles I have read, Cho's parents owned a dry cleaning business. The family probably busted their humps to make their livings, but don't for one second that Cho wasn't one of those aforementioned "rich kids!"

As for the "debauchery," Cho had a girlfriend. What, are we supposed to believe that they sat in their dorm rooms and played with their protractors all day? Please.

Besides, everyone knows that Cho began his rampage after getting a "B" in math.

Professor Carolyn Rude, chairwoman of the university's English department, said she did not personally know the gunman. But she said she spoke with Lucinda Roy, the department's director of creative writing, who had Cho in one of her classes and described him as "troubled." (H/T - Yahoo!)

Thanks to heroic Americans like Professor Rude - that should be my pen name if I ever land a teaching gig - and Lucinda Roy, this would-be incident of domestic terrorism was nipped in the bud. What's that? They didn't report it to anyone? Oh, never mind. Plug the Death-O-Meter back in, boys, the broads never told anyone!

Of course, as with any lone gunman rampage, the liberal weenies are coming out of the woodwork crying about gun control. Cho was allegedly using a Glock, a nice choice. It's a good pistol, and almost never jams. Hell, I'm surprised an Asian was such a good shot! But I digress. What the gun control libtards will never understand is that if someone - anyone - had a handgun on the campus, maybe the Death-O-Meter would have been stopped after 3 or 4. The fact of the matter is that on a sprawling campus like Virginia Tech, no amount of security and/or police will be able to cover the area of a roaming attack.

Look, this incident was a damned shame. But let's not get all needlessly bent over it. Thirty-two corpses in one incident is a nice number, but in three-and-a-half months here in Philly, we've had 114 homicides. In my opinion, Blacksburg, Virginia is still small potatoes.

Oops, I almost forgot. Let's pray for the victims and their families, blah, blah, blah.