A Call To Shanks!

If you're like me, you are sick and tired of hearing about Paris Hilton. After the home video - whose production values left much to be desired, by the way - the God-awful television show, her nightly role as the Greek Goddess Sans Panties, and now her revolving incarceration, most of America just wants her to go away.

For this reason, I have created the non-profit organization "Shank the Skank." Its sole purpose is the re-education of Miss Hilton . . . by way of the prison shank. STS believes that swift prison justice can help Hilton mend her skanky ways, and turn her life around for the better. Naturally, this cannot be done if she is killed, so STS is calling for a moderate wounding.

Hell, even if she is struck with a shank the size of a snow shovel, the subsequent hole will be much smaller than the holes she brought to prison. I think you know what I mean. So, scofflaws, burglars, arsonists: lend my your ears! It is time to change Paris Hilton's life course. It's time to Shank the Skank!

Bloggers: help spread the word! Post the Shank the Skank logo on your blog or website now! Thank you.

Disclaimer: This blog post is one of sarcasm. Naturally, no one wants to see Paris Hilton get shanked in prison. Right? Right???