An Important Message From The Author

Hello, friends. My name is Wyatt Earp, and I have some important information for those of you affected by Islamic jihad. (And really, is that not all of us?) In these desperate times, Americans are constantly looking to safeguard themselves from radical Muslim attacks. These factions are intent on destroying the "infidels," and will stop at nothing to complete their mission.

They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!

Luckily for us, we have the Bacon Air Freshener by Archie McPhee!

With the Bacon Air Freshener, you can protect yourself and your loved ones from vehement attack or sudden insurgency. Think of it as your own personal Kevlar: display this and we guarantee you won't end up as bacon bits!

One sniff of the Bacon Air Freshener, and the jihadis will pack up and run back to Mecca. It is simply the ultimate personal defense system. Utilize it in your home, auto, or even wear it around your neck for some pork-flavored security! Oink, oink, Ahmed!

The Bacon Air Freshener: If You Don't Have It, You Ain't Shiite!