Hassan Chop!

Um . . . OUCH!

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Malaysian doctors have reattached a man's nearly severed penis after his first wife, enraged by his comparison of her sex skills with those of his younger second wife, decided to chop it off with a kitchen knife.

The man, a 43-year-old Indonesian worker in southern Johor state, was lying in bed with his 48-year-old wife talking about his newly wed second wife, who is in her 30s, when the incident happened, the New Straits Times newspaper reported.

Despite his shock and pain, the man managed to pull on his trousers and ride his motorcycle to a nearby hospital, where doctors had to put in 11 stitches to reattach the organ. (H/T - RT)

This story brings to mind a few bad Austin Powers-esque puns:

• I'll bet the first wife was a little slice of heaven.
• The first wife's antics left him in stitches.
• I wonder if the hospital was serving pork chops.

I have a question. How the Hell did this guy ride a motorcycle to the hospital, sans member? Mental note, guys. Never compare a previous lover's bedroom skills with your current one. That's a free tip from your Uncle Wyatt.