Is It Drafty In Here?

Here is the 2007-08 FHL draft sheet. Click to embiggen.

Well, I'm glad that's over. The only thing more stressful that Draft Night is waiting for the lab results from your date with Lindsay Lohan. Overall, however, I think I drafted fairly well. But in the FHL, drafting is almost secondary.

The festivities were held at Vinnie Antonelli's (aka MoDo on the sheet) residence, and he pulled out all the stops. Beer Meister full of Guinness. Hot wings and cheesesteaks. Shots of chocolate cake. Life is good. By the time I arrived at 7pm, Vinnie, Badger, and Sean were already half shot in the ass - courtesy of Jameson shots.

The draft took place around Vinnie's kitchen table. He has about 200 children, so it's a big one. (The table, I mean.) We were sitting at or near the table, while Deathlok and Badger were online, shooting the draft info to Ant (in Canada) and OKev (in Arizona). I was also talking to OKev on my cell, and after the draft was over - almost three hours later - my battery was dead, and I had brain cancer. Eh, gotta die of something, right?

Regular readers of SYLG know full well that I am an obnoxious smartass. Now, imagine a social event with 11 more of me. That's the FHL Draft. After every pick, no matter how good or bad, we would decry and berate the GM for being an idiot. This went on until the 144th player was chosen. Interspersed between the "harshings" were insults of the most personal nature. Most of them followed a common theme:

Ant - Stoopid canuck.
Wyatt - Fatty fat, fat, fat.
Fish - Nice mullet!
Bundy - The Whalers are gone. Let it go!
Pinchy (Deathlok) - Neeerrrddd!
Lock - Thanks for showing up. See you next year.
Grimjack - How on earth did you land a wife?
MoDo (aka Vinnie) - You're BALD!
OKev - Smoke some more cigarettes, why don't ya?
Gimp - Cripple fight!
Badger - Get off the phone with Jenn and pay attention!
Sean - Lousy drunk!

Bonus points for the worst (and best) quotes of the night:

"My research for this pick lasted longer than my marriage." - Badger

"The Gimp is a stand-up guy." - ("The Gimp" walks with a cane.) Grimjack

And those were the only ones I could print. Good times.

After the draft carnage, many of us went out to Vinnie's back patio and commenced the Sidebets. These are usually idiotic wagers based purely on bravado and alcohol. And they usually cost me a lot of money. My loser's fee last season was $60. My total losses (including Sidebets)? $113. Ouch.

Oh well, it's better than working. We stayed out pretty late discussing the evening's festivities, and I got to bed at 2am. I'm exhausted today, but I don't care: the NHL season begins in two weeks.