Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Good Lord, we run into some stupid people on this job.

Take tonight, for example. Much like the military, the PPD abbreviates ranks. Captain is Capt., Lieutenant is Lt., and Detective is Det. Keep this in mind, as it is crucial to the story.

This woman calls the division tonight, and says that she received a letter from a detective. The detective wanted her to call the division a.s.a.p. She does, obviously, and asks the following:

"Yes, may I speak to Detective Smith?"

Since there are two detectives named Smith, the detective who answered the phone asked which one she wanted. The woman then says this:

"The male. His first name is 'Det.'"

This tool thought the detective's rank was his first name.