U-G-L-Y, We Ain't Got No Alibi

In fairness, I live in the city, so my hideous visage is not helping matters . . . Philadelphia has the ugliest people in the country, according to Travel & Leisure Magazine. Of the 25 major American cities ranked by citizen attractiveness, Philadelphia finished dead-last. According to 60,000 respondents to the magazine's online survey, Philadelphians are slightly more repulsive than Washingtonians (24), Dallasites (23) and San Antonions (22) but way uglier than Miamians (1), San Diegoans (2) and Charlestonians (3). "This is the city of Fabian and Frankie Avalon and Grace Kelly," said City Councilman Frank DiCicco. "Are they saying we've morphed into ugly people over the last few decades? Somebody's drinking something out there." (H/T - The Philadelphia Inquirer) Gee, how did I know the article would end with "outrage" from well-known Philadelphians? It's as if a high school student wrote this piece. And what's with DiCicco pulling a Hiro Nakamura and time-warping back to the 50's? Frankie Avalon? Grace Kelly? How about someone recent, like say current corrupt mayor John Street? Yep, there we go. The Mayor of Uglytown. Listen people, who the Hell cares if a poll conducted by some lame magazine tells us we're butt ugly? Look at the bright side: we're also incredibly rude, completely fickle with our sports teams, and incurably negative. Now there's a feather in our collective cap! Be proud! (Linked at OTB's Beltway Traffic Jam.)