Giving Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day in America. (I think those wacky Canadians celebrate it in October or something.) Being a highly-successful blog professional, I am thankful for many, many things. To wit:

I am thankful for my ever-expanding family. I would also be thankful if we decided on a name for Boy #3 before his birth this time.

I am thankful for my friends. Many of them are playing ice hockey while I rehabilitate my knee. Of course, since they're 5-2 and have won three in a row, I guess I can retire and not be missed.

I am thankful for hot broads like Jessica Alba. I mean, really, who isn't?


I am thankful for Philadelphia Mayor John F. Street. His incompetence has contributed more material to this blog than any other source. I'll miss this moron when he's gone.

I am thankful for Christian Bale. His "hotness" keeps my female readers coming back.


I am thankful for Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. Seeing their massive girth makes me feel pretty good about my corpulence. (Cue Vinnie searching for the definition of corpulence.)

And finally, I am thankful to all of you, my readers. The people who support me during the terrible, unfunny posts, and the rare winner. The people who stuck by me after Chuck Cassidy's murder, and who were generous enough to donate to his family's trust fund. The people who truly make this blog worth reading. Without all of you, I am nothing. Thank you.