It's Black Friday

Okay, who wants to borrow my Glock 17?

Christmas is a time for peace and goodwill towards men. Why, then, do I feel like crushing everyone's skulls with a cash register today? Black Friday is the worst thing this country has seen since The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Luckily for us, there are plenty of people to mock today. Here are my top three:

• The Black Friday Shoppers. Is it really necessary to abandon your family, skip Thanksgiving dinner, and suffer frostbite simply to save a few bucks on a television? While driving home last night, the wife and I were pointing and laughing at the multitude of idiots standing line outside our local Best Buy. The time was 8pm, and the temperature was 42 degrees. These morons still had a nine-hour wait until the store opened. Good luck with that, asshats!
• The Radio Stations. A radio station in Philly (B101.1) is broadcasting Christmas music, 24 hours a day, seven days a week until Christmas Day. They began this stretch run last night. Here's my problem: it was still Thanksgiving!!! Can we please respect that holiday enough to not jump into Christmas until after the turkey is gone?!!! William Bradford and John Smith are turning over in their graves.
• The Decorators. The missus is as guilty of this as anyone, so I should check my tone. Actually, since she's six-months pregnant, she can't catch me if I run away. Heh. Why the Hell are people decorating for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving? Some morons around the corner had their outside decorations and lights out last week! You people can't wait until December?!!! The wife has me crawling around the attic on Black Friday every year! (In fairness, Captain America and I wanted to put up our icicle lights yesterday because it was so warm, but that was an exception.) Look, I love Christmas just much as the next guy, but can we have a day's separation between Turkey Day and the Winter Wonderland? I'm just sayin'.

Otherwise, have a terrific holiday. HA!