A Christmas Miracle

Apparently, to make Chief in the Philadelphia Fire Department, you don't need a whole lot of experience fighting fires!!!

Of course, since she's the first female fire chief, those minor details are lost on this Philadelphia Inquirer fluff piece:

The highest-ranking woman in the Philadelphia Fire Department has never battled a blaze. Then again, how many firefighters studied at the London School of Economics or have a photographic memory or saved a runner's life at the Philadelphia Marathon?

That "save" is complete and utter fiction. Trust me, I know the real story, but I'll expand upon that in a minute.

Meet Diane Schweizer, first female chief in the history of the department, founded in 1736. "I never had an interest in being a firefighter," says Schweizer, 39, who joined the department as a paramedic in 1995. "I didn't feel a passion for it."

Then riddle me this, Batman: what gives her the right to make Fire Chief ahead of many, many more deserving officers?

One month into her tenure as chief of Emergency Medical Services Operations, Schweizer oversees the city's 300-plus paramedics and 45 ambulances.

Meanwhile, the EMS Division came under blistering attack in a yearlong performance audit by city controller Alan Butkovitz released Thursday. The report said that EMS personnel were taking too long to arrive at accident scenes and that the department didn't have enough ambulances. Schweizer says she doesn't have permission to comment on the audit.

Oh, how convenient. She's the Chief, and she can't comment on how her medic system is in shambles? Right.

Schweizer, an emergency medical technician since she was a high schooler in Whippany, N.J., made an impressive medical run herself at the Philadelphia Marathon last month. After a marathoner collapsed on Kelly Drive near the Art Museum, Schweizer, on patrol there, was summoned for help by the crowd.

When she got to the fallen runner, a man in his early 40s, "he was blue. Unconscious. Not breathing. No pulse," Schweizer says calmly, as though reciting a grocery list.

She immediately started chest compressions as an onlooker continued mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. When the medic unit arrived a few minutes later, the man was breathing on his own.

Ah, yes, the "save" story. Complete and utter bullshit. Yes, she was there when the runner collapsed, and yes she did start compressions, but another person did mouth-to-mouth until the medics arrived, and when they did, the medics saved the runner's life.

This broad made the news that night, and gave no credit (or even mention) the medics that did most of the work. Way to stand up for your guys "Chief." Of course, the details on the promotion of a woman who has no firefighting experience become clear with a paragraph later in this article:

That's just in the field. Higher up on the, well, ladder, "she can hold her own with the boys, no doubt about it," says Fire Commissioner Lloyd Ayers. "When issues need to be debated, she's in the debate."

Sometimes the debate includes Deputy Fire Chief Bill Schweizer, 54, her husband of seven years. A 33-year department veteran, he was tagged "Fireboy" at his first firehouse because he wasn't even shaving yet.

A woman with no firefighting experience - who happens to be married to a Deputy Chief - makes Chief at the age of 39? Hmm . . .

Sorry, Diane, but if you think your promotion was based upon merit, you are sadly mistaken.