Old Time Hockey!

Sometimes ice hockey is a game of beauty, finesse, and speed. It is a ballet of passing, shooting, and scoring unsurpassed by any other sport. When played by professionals, is is a living, breathing masterpiece.

When played by my friends and I, it is sometimes the living equivalent of Fight Club.

Last night, we faced off against Blue Dog, a team that we destroyed by a score of 10-1 in our last meeting. It is also the team that we physically beat from pillar to post, and the team that bloodied Vinnie Antonelli after a fight. No matter what way you looked at it, we were psyched for this game.

From the drop of the first puck, we knew this game was going to be physical. There was more hitting than usual, and high sticks were the norm. Thankfully for us, our talent took over from the start, and after the first period, we were winning 2-0.

Not much changed in the second period, as we ramped up the offense in an attempt to put Blue Dog away. Badger made some tremendous saves, Randal lit the lamp, and Vinnie's line was passing like Team Sweden. Although Blue Dog broke the shutout, we entered the third period up 5-1.

In the third period, with the game more or less over, Blue Dog did their best Hanson Brothers impersonation. They charged Badger, our goaltender. They cross-checked Randal and Vinnie. They called me "Fatty McButterpants." They were scoundrels! Of course, we responded in kind. Randal charged the player who cross-checked him and knocked him on his arse. Vinnie threw the occasional well-placed elbow. Oh, and Mike and Brian started a brawl in the last few minutes of the game. And it was an NHL-esque brawl. Helmets, gloves, and fists were flying, and it took almost ten minutes for the refs to break up the carnage. Sweet! We got our revenge, a little payback, and a victory by the score of 7-2. We're now 10-3 in the division, with about ten games left before the playoffs.

After the game we celebrated at the bar, where Vinnie ordered the most bizarre shot I have ever seen: a shot of 99 Bananas, a sweet banana schnapps. Naturally, we said Vinnie "caught the gay," but he stood by his decision, saying "There was no burning. just banana."

Editor's note: Due to circumstances beyond my control - mainly the grief given me by Randal, Badger, Vinnie, and Fish, I am prohibited from mentioning my play in last night's game. Apparently, my pals think I would be gloating in an obnoxious manner.