The Sky Is Falling!

Well, it's not the actual sky, just a malfunctioning U.S. spy satellite. I smell sitcom!

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A large U.S. spy satellite has lost power and propulsion and could hit the Earth in late February or March, government officials said Saturday.

The satellite, which no longer can be controlled, could contain hazardous materials, and it is unknown where on the planet it might come down, they said.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because the information is classified as secret.

"Appropriate government agencies are monitoring the situation," said Gordon Johndroe, a spokesman for the National Security Council. (H/T - CNN)

Oh, that makes me feel better. I'm sure "top men" are working on the situation as we speak.

I realize that this is wishful thinking, but if the satellite could be "directed" to a certain location, that would be just keen. Why should it crush some poor slob's home when it could land somewhere that no one cares about. In fact, I have a few suggestions:

• Hillary Clinton's mansion.
• Michael Moore's head.
• The Dallas Cowboys' stadium.
• The U.S./Mexico border. (Ya gotta figure that the radiation would eliminate a lot of crossings, right?)