Attention Penn State University Alums!

I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you. Bawahahahahaha!!! Penn State Police confirmed today that they have filed charges against Nittany Lions basketball player Stanley Pringle in an incident involving public masturbation that occurred last Thursday in Pattee Library. Police said Pringle, the team's point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident, but Centre County District Judge Jonathan Grine, who is out of the office, was unable to sign the criminal complaint as of 2 p.m. today. Without the signed complaint, Pringle cannot be formally arrested. Sports Information Director Brian Siegrist confirmed that charges were filed against Pringle yesterday, but denied Pringle's involvement in the masturbation incident. Siegrist said Pringle's status with the basketball team remains unchanged. A similar incident occurred on March 21 on the second-floor landing of McElwain Hall's main stairwell between 8 and 8:15 p.m, when police said a man entered the building behind the woman and followed her to the stairwell landing where he began to masturbate. A similar description of the man was given in both incidents, police said. No charges have been filed for the McElwain Hall incident. (H/T - Randal Graves via The Collegian) Loyal readers of SYLG know that I despise Penn State, so I must admit I had quite the giggle when I read this story. The only way it would have been funnier is if Joe Paterno was named as the offender. Tee hee hee! Ladies and gentlemen, you may begin submitting your funny comments in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . .