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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Begging Your Pardon

If you still had any doubt California was a vast cesspool of liberalism, this story may squelch it. California Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown signed legislation forcing high schools to instruct students how "to ask for sex."

My usual method of begging on hands and knees is apparently not good enough anymore.

Sex education classes in California’s largest high schools are going to have to include lessons for their students on how to ask for sex after Gov. Jerry Brown (D) signed the legislation into law.

Students in high schools that already include health classes as a graduation requirement will be taught the meaning of a new phrase in the pursuit and acceptance of coital pleasure — affirmative consent.

“May I touch now?” “Is this OK?” or “How about now?” are certain to be included in the next textbooks.

You realize we are only a year or two away from mandatory contracts, right? Crafted by lawyers, certified by notaries, and embraced by liberal men and women nationwide.

I remember the good old days when two people just went at it like rabbits in the back of a car.

13 comments:

  1. A particular '57 Chevy comes to mind with a Hurst shifter. I'm betting my way was a lot more fun!!

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  2. I thought it was "Don't ask, don't tell"!

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  3. Leave it to a liberal retard to ruin sex!

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  4. Mike - Maybe President Hillary will bring that back?

    Anon - Well, in fairness, they have so little of it.

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  5. Oh, for the record, if you want to put up a screen name, use the "Name/URL" option. You can put in any URL, even Google.com

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  6. Welcome (intermittently) back!

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  7. Loki - Thanks. What can I say? I'm an attention whore.

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  8. Sex? What is this thing you speak of?

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  9. E.L. - I heard it's something the kids are all doing.

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  10. I'm not sure that asking was ever an issue, it happened when she got tired of fending off the octopus arms and her resolve melted. I do know that good manners dictated that one always said thank you afterwards. Won't be long before college kids will need to get an acceptance form signed by the sexual designee in triplicate, with one copy going to the Title 9 folks and one to each participant. Each sexual act to be performed will have to be delineated, and initialed by each participant. If participating in a threesome, multiple duplicates would need to be made. I suppose a breathalyzer with a printout would need to be amended to each form so that all involved can prove they are not legally drunk. Then the encounter would need to be video'd so that it can be proven that no participant revoked their acceptance verbally during the encounter. In keeping with the (im)moral stance of our progressive brethren, no mention of the words "God," "Jesus,"etc. can be verbalized during the commission of such encounters as this would violate church/state doctrine as espoused by the ACLU, Title 9 folks and the local protesting atheists. Review of the video would be done by the EEOC folks, and a fine of $100 per event would be levied for every utterance of "Oh God," "oh Lord," "Sweet Jesus," etc. Should any novel areas of sexual exploration be encountered after the original agreement, a post coital codicil would have to be amended for all parties. Failure to file the paperwork in a timely fashion would be a fine incurring misdemeanor. It is estimated that the revenue generated from just the utterance of "Oh God!" will make this entire proposition revenue neutral.

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  11. Doc - This really is the most insane thing I have ever seen. I thank God I am married. I cannot fathom being out on the dating scene in this day and age.

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