After crashing a stolen BMW yesterday, a Florida Man denied swiping the wheels, explaining to cops that he was actually “teleported into the vehicle,” according to an arrest affidavit.
I wonder who teleported Calvin, since Star Trek hasn't been moving idiots like Carlin for years.
In short order, Johnson--driving over 100 mph--crashed the car in a single-vehicle accident. Passing motorists extracted him from the totaled auto.
Johnson has been charged with grand theft auto, a felony, and driving on a license that was suspended in 2019. Bond has been set at $2650.
Hmm, I wonder if Captain Kirk is still around.
Idiots.
This would have been quite unusual anywhere else. Floriduh sounds like a great place except the crazy people keep cropping up ALL the time.
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