Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Earp Plan

So, I'm watching some of the footage from the New Orleans disaster, and the next thing I know, there's a story about the looters. Frakkin' looters after the Katrina flooding! A few seconds later, I see a New Orleans police officer point a shotgun at one of these toads, who drops the merchandise and flees like a little bitch. Finally, the voice of reason at the barrel of a gun. Somebody buy that cop a beer!

Anyway, it got me thinking about my plan for law and order in America. I humbly call it The Earp Plan. Bear with me, because I think it's a winner. Under The Earp Plan, on January 1 every American will receive ten rounds of ammunition to use as they see fit. Hear that, kids? Ten free rounds with no consequences! If you want to fire them off randomly, knock yourself out. If you want to take the law into your own hands, be my guest. If you want to stop jackass looters in The French Quarter, fine by me. These ten rounds will be distributed every year, but cannot be transferred to another legal citizen. So use them wisely, folks.

I believe in this plan. This plan is rock solid. This plan is sound. And I believe this plan will make the toads think twice before trying something stupid. When I run for office, the Earp Plan will be the cornerstone of my platform.

But, what do I know?


  1. Does this plan incorportate "roll-over" bullets, so I can keep my 10 unused bullets, and add my next ten to them for the next year?

    Shooting looters on-sight is pretty effective, BTW.

    Great post, Wyatt!

  2. How can I get more than 10? This is kinda like getting 3 wishes from a Genie, and using the last wish to ask for more wishes.

  3. CUG - I never thought of that. Of course, with "roll over," some lunatic (like me) can go bullet free for five years, only to go postal at the local mall afterwards!

    GunnNutt - Ten's the limit. Sorry. Unless I can incorporate CUG's "roll over" idea.

  4. Don't exclude other weapons from the Earp plan. Anyone who wants to test their skill with a compound bow, or a Japanese Katana could take this historical opportunity to hunt manimals.