Saturday, August 27, 2005

Wyatt To City: Drop Dead!

Judging by the post title, can you tell if I'm in a better mood today?

For those of you who have been on Mars for the past three months, I live in Philadelphia. Like every major city, this burg has more than its share of problems. High crime rates, taxes that would choke a horse, and an incompetent, corrupt mayor are the norm around here. But lately, things have gone from worse, to "God damn, I gotta get out!" To wit:

  • Today's issue of The Philadelphia Inquirer (*cough* liberal rag *cough*) made no mention of murdered Philadelphia Police Officer Terrence Flomo on the front page. Instead, it had a brief article on page one of the City and Region section. Since murdered police officers don't warrant a mention on the front page, I wonder what the Inky chose instead? Let's see; an article on the tired Donovan McNabb-Terrell Owens feud, another story about the impending closing of the Willow Grove NAS, the FDA's deliberations on an emergency contraceptive, and a blurb about the Iraqi constitution. Wow. I guess I shouldn't be picky, since I'm surprised they covered the story at all.
  • There are those who say that Philly sports fans are the best and most knowledgeable in the country. That's crap. For the most part, they're fickle morons. Take last night's Eagles-Bengals exhibition game. On the first play of the game, QB Donovan McNabb hooked up with whiny a-hole Terrell Owens for a 64-yard touchdown. So, what do the "knowledgeable" fans do right away? They give T.O - who has done nothing this season except piss people off with his crybaby antics - a standing ovation!!! Morons.

See what I mean? "Town needs an enema!"


  1. Are the Eagle fans just showing some of that famous Philly "Brotherly Love?"

  2. I just moved to Pennsylvania from Indiana. I guess I should be glad I moved to Port Madilda in the center of the state instead of Philly, huh?

  3. Enema? It sounds like the town needs a full reverse flush colonoscopy with polyp removal.

  4. GunnNutt - Nah, our "Brotherly Love" comes complete with a boot to the teeth.

    Prof - You betcha! Philly is a cesspool of liberals and corruption. Coincidence???

    Insolublog - Even better!!!

  5. Call Nurse Ratchet. She can administer the Enema.