It's In The Game

GOP and the City has issued the Blogs4Bauer Challenge #2, which deals with the upcoming release of the "24" videogame for PS2. (Pardon me while I stop giggling like a schoolgirl.) Here's the topic:

List the top 5 features you would like to see included in the game.

1. Deathmatch. What "24" game would be complete without the requisite deathmatch mode: a one-on-one, kill-or-be-killed gunfight starring any of the characters from the previous seasons. Who would win a battle between Viktor Drazen and Stephen Saunders? Or how about Kim Bauer versus Nina Meyers? If given the choice, however, I'm pitting Jack Bauer against Tony Almieda. Sweet!

2. Nipple Accessibility. No, it's not what you think (although with Kim in the game . . . ). Since the ability to torture villains is allegedly included in the game, I want to be able to access people's chests. What better torture than the ol' lamp wires to the nipples method - a Jack Bauer specialty.

3. The Ever-Present Clock. This may be a no-brainer (and no-brainers are my specialty), but I want, no, need the "24" clock. And it better beep as the seconds tick away, too.

4. Head Shots. My favorite option from the Syphon Filter series is a must for this game. I want sniper rifles, and I want head shots. Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Pay attention, kids, this is the most important feature:

5. Realism. If "24: The Game" is politically correct in any way, I'm out. I don't need a PSA stating that not all Muslims are terrorists, just as I don't need a PSA stating not all Irish people are terrorists (but we never got that one, did we?) Any PC disclaimer apologizing for a "slight" to any race, religion, or creed is a deal breaker.