Friday, September 16, 2005

She Finally Spawned

Pop music whore Britney Spears (pictured at left, circa 2007) gave birth to a baby boy on Wednesday. The future gas station attendant was delivered via Caesarian section at UCLA Medical Center - which marks the only time Spears will ever see the inside of a university.

Why a Caesarian section? You won't believe the reason:

"I have a feeling I'm going to have an operation. I don't know why. But I hope so. I don't want to go through the pain..."

Oh, well, I'm glad she cleared that up. I guess no one told her that having a child was a painful process. Thank God for celebrities. Maybe C-sections will become the hip new method of childbirth. Can you imagine all of her idiot fans asking their OB-GYN for C-sections because they don't want it to hurt? Cripes!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: people should have to earn a license to have children.


  1. Wait until she finds out how much fun recovering from a C-section is. Does she not realize it's MAJOR SURGERY? That scar will hurt for months...trust me, I know! What an idiot.

  2. I guess it's also the end of the belly shirts. Oh, the horror!

  3. I guess I'll have revisit my interview with Brittany Spears, so I can tell the untold millions of my readers about BS and her baby.

  4. She's a head case!

    I delivered 3 of my 4 naturally - didn't need drugs; didn't want them. Had to have an epidoral w/ one and really didn't want it, but doc's orders.

  5. I need an epidoral when I cut my toenails!

  6. What a wimp. I screamed bloody murder, but I delivered both of mine with no drugs and survived. Truthfully I am more horrified of having a needle stuck in my spine than I am of the pain. Maybe next time, though, I'll wise up and get something (not an epidural) before I am so far into labor that I can't. (That is what happened this time, by the time I was ready it was too late. Dong-Dong says I am a sissy for it, but I punched him in the nuts for the remark.)

  7. so, she could kiss Madonna but was afraid to have a baby?