Kaaaaaaaaaa!

On Sunday, I took my annual trip to Six Flags Great Adventure with my brother Chris, his wife Kim, and my cousin Colleen. On tap; rollercoaster-a-rama. There's nothing better than being pummeled by G-forces on some of the best coasters in the area. Our task was daunting – ride every coaster at least once – but we were up to the challenge.

As soon as we entered the park, we made a b-line to the Q-bot station. The Q-bot is a mini electronic system that allows people to make a reservation on a ride. The Q-bot scans in at the front of the attraction, and it tells you when you can come back to jump to the head of the line. It costs a little more, but it's well worth it. The most time we spent in line for any ride was about ten minutes. Kickass!

Our first stop was the brand new Kingda Ka (pictured above), a mammoth peaking roller coaster that magnetically propels the cars from 0 to 120 mph in an instant. Afterwards, we felt like Akroyd and Chase in Spies Like Us after the G-force test:

"Wanna get some coffee?" "Sounds good."

After Ka, we tripped the light fantastic with Batman, Batman and Robin, The Great American Scream Machine, Medusa, Nitro (twice), and Superman (twice). Nine coasters in eight hours equal F-U-N! And now, some of the highlights:

* The only ride we jumped on that wasn't a roller coaster was the bumper cars. (I know, we're juvenile, but it was great!) While standing in line, we were mocking the mental defectives that can't drive the cars – you know, the ones who pivot in circles for the entire trip – when we noticed a pattern: everyone who was in an orange car was a dope. The attendant made us laugh out loud when she said "Orange car, wrong way!" to one of the knuckleheads. It was the catch phrase of the day.

* Chris, Colleen, and Kim almost passed out on Nitro. Near the end of the ride, the coaster goes into a set of high-speed ovals that are truly frightening. When we got off, they all said that their vision started to go black from the G's! Cool.

* Forget gate security, SFGA needs fashion police! We were shocked and appalled at some of the wardrobes the patrons were sporting. Fat chicks wearing spandex and skinny, toothless girls not wearing bras make for a sobering day.

* People suck! During the ride to the park, I told my family that I hate people, and they told me that it was because I had a bad attitude and my profession perpetuates that feeling. As if! Imagine my glee when the other three were talking about calling in an air strike for the wretched refuse that surrounded us!

All in all, it was a good day.