Let The Games Begin

A lot of folks will tell you that firefighters play the best practical jokes. Although I agree that they really know their craft, I would respectfully disagree that they are the kings of the mountain. That title lies with police officers.

For example, a few months ago, an officer in my squad called police radio and had them dispatch the following job: "16, can you check the area for two white males inside a dark sedan having 'relations?'" The officer, who happened to be the prankster who called it in, answered by saying, "Radio, be advised, that's just our plainclothes team." Suffice to say, the plainclothes team was both embarrassed and pissed!

Of course, it's not as funny when you're the victim. On Thursday morning, I was going at it with one of the guys in my squad. He was calling me "Captain Neckfat," and I was calling him "Goggles Paesano" after posting his Police ID picture - complete with oversized specs - around the district. After a while, he went out to patrol while I was working inside.

Six o'clock rolls around, and I pack up to go home. I jump in my car and start my drive. As I'm motoring along, a white van is tailgating me. He speeds up, then backs off. I see the driver in the rear view mirror, and he seems to be squinting at my license plate. After a few minutes, I think that there's something wrong with the car, or my plate is falling off. I pull over and look at the plate to find this:


"Goggles" pasted a piece of paper over the actual plate with this! I was never so embarrassed in my life. Goggles, it's on!!!