Lousy Drunks!

(An Eagles fan with his best friend in the world: Mr. Beer.)

The only thing I dread about football season is dealing with all the drunks. And Philadelphia Eagles fans are the worst of the lot. So, imagine my outrage when the Weekend section of today's Philadelphia Inquirer (*cough* liberal rag! *cough*) ran a cover story entitled "Where to Drink in the Game." The article then lists ten "hot spots" to grab an adult beverage (read: get completely blitzed) and watch the pigskin. Unbelievable.

I have firsthand knowledge of Eagles' fans penchant for over-indulgence. If New Orleans had a dollar for every person I locked up wearing Eagles green, the city would be rebuilt by now. Monday Night Football games, especially, are "target-rich environments" for DUI arrests, and me and my co-workers will be licking our chops in anticipation of yummy, yummy overtime. Bring it on!