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Thursday, September 08, 2005

Sports Shorts

Maybe Joe Pa isn't so bad.

The octogenarian coach of Penn State football said he doesn't like the media anymore. "I can't trust you guys anymore. I am just being honest with you. It is no fun." Good for you, Joe – it only took you sixty years to figure that out.

Retirement, Part One

Seven-time Tour de France champion (and American hero) Lance Armstrong hinted that he may return for another Tour next year. Why? Primarily to fist the French yet again. "While I'm absolutely enjoying my time as a retired athlete with Sheryl and the kids," Armstrong said, "the recent smear campaign out of France has awoken my competitive side. I'm not willing to put a percentage on the chances, but I will no longer rule it out."

Retirement, Part Deux

New Jersey Devils defenseman Scott Stevens has announced his retirement. Somewhere, Eric Lindros and Paul Kariya are toasting with champagne. Stevens' departure is yet another blow to the Devils' blue line (Scott Niedermayer recently signed with Anaheim), as well as a kick in the teeth for Jersey fans like Pandy. Tee hee hee! Enjoy your retirement, Scotty – don't come back!

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