Tuesday, September 20, 2005

X-Men United

My ice hockey team had its first practice of the season on Saturday night, and we took our first steps towards another championship.

Okay, they were baby steps, but they were discernible steps nonetheless.

Fourteen of us were there on the ice, and the rust was immediately apparent. It was also apparent that I am the worst player on the squad. Swell. After an hour of practice, I was exhausted and a little concerned. First, our offense doesn't shoot enough. Most of the time it's pass, pass, pass. Hey guys, we aren't Team Sweden here; put the biscuit in the basket! Second, our defense - including myself, back at my original position - is out of shape. I am a fat bastard, but even our thinner guys are a little slow. Not good for a defenseman.

Of course, it isn't all bad. Our goaltender is unbelievable. He was stopping everything that came his way, and is terrific at barking out orders to the defense. The forwards have proven talent, so as long as they start shooting, we will be fine. I hope. We'll find out soon enough, since the season is set to start in a week.

Oh, for those concerned, I didn't get hit with any pucks, but I'll probably have to get a full-face cage - thus getting certain females off my back - because by playing defense, it's only a matter of time.


  1. I thought you wanted that toothless look?

  2. I did, but my wishes mean nothing to the pressures of women!