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Monday, October 31, 2005

Boo Berry Cobbler

"Grampa, can you teach us how to control the undead?"

In honor of Halloween, American Movie Classics has been running horror films ad nauseum. Normally, this would be a good thing for fans of the genre like me, but since they are sticking with constant reruns of the Friday the 13th series, I have been averting the channel like vampires avoid garlic. You want some good scary movies? Check out my top five:

A Nightmare on Elm Street – Remember when Freddy Krueger was scary, and not an aspiring comedian. I do. Wes Craven's original Nightmare was damned scary, even if the Freddy concept was a blatant rip-off of Phantasm's Tall Man. Bonus points for casting a young Johnny Depp in a major role.

Alien – Wow, a James Cameron film without Ah-nuld? Go figure. Alien freaked me out with both its gore and its suspense. Gore doesn't bother me as much as crap jumping out in front of me. That is powerfully uncool. Bonus points for the "alien in the stomach" scene. Nasty.

Phantasm – Don Coscarelli is a genius. Exhibit A? 1979's Phantasm. Sure, it's low budget goodness, but Coscarelli's tale of an omnipotent Tall Man (played brilliantly by Angus Scrimm, pictured above), flying death spheres, and undead that look like Jawas is sure to entertain. Bonus points for the film's "steal appeal" – the Tall Man has been copied more than once, which is a sign of a great character.

The Thing – Now we're talking. John Carpenter's freak-o-rama still scares the hell out of me, and at the age of 36, I still can't watch it all the way through with my eyes open. Suspense, gore, and Wilford Brimley; this film has it all! Bonus points for (again) casting Kurt Russell. I love that guy!

Jaws – Yeah, I know it's not really a horror movie per se, but there isn't a film around that negatively affected me the way Jaws has. I still won't swim in a natural body of water for fear of a shark attack! Thank you, Steven Spielberg! Bonus points for casting the oft-inebriated Robert Shaw.

12 comments:

  1. Firsst with Flair!!!(sorry Stevie boy) :)

    Would the Exorcist be considered a horror movie? Saw that the for the first time when I was about 11 or 12. Had nightmares for months...

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  2. James Cameron was Aliens. No doubt a kick ass scary film. Revenge, thy name is Sulaco.

    The original Brandywine prototype by Ridley Scott was a nail biting classic! That violent violin type strike, whenever the beast shot out, stopped your heart.

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  3. Joe - Jeez, is your whole family stopping by here?!!! Hate The Exorcist . . . scared the hell outta me.

    Insol - If I'm not mistaken, Cameron told the cast that "something" was gonna happen to the guy, but he didn't say what. When the alien popped out, check out the cast's expressions - they were truly freaked out!

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  4. Was it Ridley Scott or James Cameron? There was chest popping goodness in both films.

    I thought Ridley Scott's film was scarier, since there wasn't any military hardware to fight the thing.

    The THING also kicked a$$. Right after Palmer's head turns into a bloody lobster claw:

    Gary:

    "I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter tied to this F$%KING COUCH!"

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  5. Great picks!
    The opening scene in Jaws was the number one scary scene in Bravo's special about scary movies.
    (The girl at swimming w/her drunk boyfriend at night).

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  6. I loved both versions of "The Thing" though the James Arness monster looks really lame by today's standards.

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  7. Wyatt,
    Joe cool is a Wuss, that is why he was scared!

    Yeah I am afraid the some of the family does stop by. I told them about your site. Hey it increases the traffic. So quit whining;}

    Sometimes there is nothing like a scary movie!

    I am the only one with Flair here!!

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  8. That was supposed to say "I am afraid THAT some of"

    sorry

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  9. FM - Word. Hate the ocean.

    Insol - Now I'm not sure. Could have been Scott.

    CUG - Yeah, great scene!

    GunnNutt - James Arness? You're showing your age, sweetie!

    Steve - Now, now, there will be no family feuding here!

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  10. I still can't watch the little monster pop out of the guy's chest in Alien!

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  11. linda - If you think that's scary, just watch that little monster Chuck Schumer pop out of a senate commitee room on C-SPAN. ( Shiver )

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  12. Actually, I think Reed is the scarier one!

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