"You suck-diddly-uck Flanders!" - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
Today, I consider myself the suckiest man on the face of the earth.
At some point in every man's life comes the realization that he isn't a kid anymore. Mine came about six years ago, when I hit the big 3-0. Still, I kept convincing myself that I could play ice hockey with kids ten years younger than me, because I was smarter, knew more about the game, and gosh darn it, people liked me. (Wow, a Stuart Smalley reference!) Last night, I realized that my brain doesn't have to chase these little bastards up and down the ice - my legs do.
Nothing like having life kick you in the jimmies.
Remember that one game winning streak we had? Me neither. Our team lost again last night, 7-3, and it wasn't even that close. Our record is now 1-2, and even thought it is a 30-game season, things are looking about as good as Kirstie Alley in a thong.
Hope the next game goes better.
ReplyDeleteI owe you one for the Kirsty reference! Yeesh!
Yeah, getting old is a b@@ch! ;)
I'm off today (THANK GOD!) and I'm spending my time recovering from two bad knees, a hyper-extended elbow, and overall malaise. Of course, my 4-year old is now begging me to come play street hockey with him.
ReplyDeleteShoot me now!
second the motion on the Kirsty reference! That is Nasty! with a capital N!
ReplyDeleteYou sound just like me on the hurting.
Would that be pre-Weight Watchers Kirsty or post? Either one is pretty gross.
ReplyDeleteWould that be pre-Weight Watchers Kirsty or post? Either one is pretty gross.
ReplyDeleteLast time I put on skates (I'm about your age) I couldn't get off the couch for a week. I went back for an alumni game against the current team from my High School. I never remember wheezing that way back then. The only thing I found more humiliating than my performance on the ice was how horrendously long the recovery process was.
ReplyDeleteSteve - Sorry, but you got my point, right?
ReplyDeleteTM - Yeah, either one will shift that blood flow right back to your brain.
Tony B - I usually exaggerate about my play (because I always accentuate the negative) but I am ready to go after a week of recovery, so I can't be COMPLETELY outta shape. I'm 5'9", and run about 220 now, so I AM overweight, but my main problem on the ice is mental lapses. I agree with you, though - I don't remember it being this rough on the old frame even five years ago!
The big 30, six years ago?
ReplyDeleteJeez, where's my walker ...
If you were here, your 4 year old could be getting you to play ice hockey.
ReplyDeleteIt's snowing here. Not even November. I want to go back to Indiana!
Prof - That sucks! We've been bitchin' about all the rain. Guess we're getting off easy!
ReplyDelete