You Say It, We Play It (Day 2)

The second suggestion is Police Academy stories.

(Editor's note: There are a good many people who think women should not be police officers. This post will probably give some credence to that line of thinking, but I want to stress that these examples do not reflect the actions of every female officer in the Philadelphia Police Department. My partner is one of the best cops I know, and I am under the assumption that Pandy was/is a hell of an MP. I just wanted to post the hate mail disclaimer.)

The following anecdotes are (unfortunately) absolutely true. The names were changed to protect the brutal. Here is a glimpse of some of the women in my police academy class:

Recruit Jones: Skinny little recruit Jones was out of her league on day one. Weighing all of 85 pounds soaking wet and wearing a vest, she finally had to drop out of the academy. Why? Because she wasn't strong enough to rack the slide on her Glock 17!

Recruit Jackson: Recruit Jackson was the Bizzarro Jones. She weighed about 250 (bone dry without a vest) and stood a menacing 5'2". This in and of itself is not a reason to "dis" her, but her theories on race relations were. A week into the training, Jackson told the class that she didn't like white people! When the instructor told her that 1. there were white people in the room, and 2. one of them may save her ass one day, Jackson shrugged her shoulders. She is still on the force working in the primarily Italian section of South Philly.

Recruit Smith: Recruit Smith was Recruit Jackson's henchwoman. She echoed everything Jackson said, but was actually in worse physical condition. During our P.T., the woman couldn't do ten sit-ups in one minute. I'm not kidding. She graduated anyway (to everyone's amazement) and is currently working in South Philly.

Recruit Thompson: Last but not least, Recruit Thompson was a 35-year old, chain-smoking, toothpick who never said much during our six months at the academy. She was friendly enough, but had the personality of Al Gore. Most of us thought 35 was a little old for starting the academy, but what did we know? She worked her ass of to make the cut . . . then promptly turned bum on the street. Thompson is now working in my district - although I use the term "working" loosely - and due to her laziness, she is the most hated officer in the squad.