Giggidy!
The drunken lovemaking session got ugly - if that's possible - when some party poopers (and tinklers, I suppose) started grumbling that they needed the stall for its designed purpose. Oh, boo hoo, can't you ladies hold it for a spell? The women were busy exploring their sexuality!
Giggidy! Giggidy!
When the wet blankets threw a stink, Renee allegedly sucker punched a female patron. The police were called - Jesus, why can't I ever get this call? - and Renee doubled her pleasure by giving the officers a fake ID. Thomas was charged with giving a false name to police, and Keathley was charged with assault and disorderly conduct. I imagine they were searched thoroughly when they were arrested.
Giggidy! Giggidy! Giggidy!
Unfortunately, the two vixens were thrown off the cheerleading squad and are now unemployed. What the hell is that? The "TopCats" were fired for a catfight??? Unreal. Anyway, being the consummate gentleman, I am prepared to offer the ladies a job. Support Your Local Gunfighter is looking for some "valets," and Renee and Angela will surely fit the bill.
Their jobs will include the following:
- Telling me how attractive I am every hour on the hour.
- Prancing around in their cheerleader uniforms (or a reasonable facsimile).
- Speaking in that sexy Southern accent upon request.
There is no deadline for applications, girls!
Southern accents are sexy? I got told I had one when I was up in PA. I'm not so sure, but I'm going to work on it if it'll drive my yankee boy wild...
ReplyDeleteFunny when 2 lovely girls fight it out. Any more girls who wants to fight or what?
ReplyDeleteFmragtops - Yeah, Quagmire would be proud.
ReplyDeletePandy - Work on!!!
Anon - Mmm . . .catfights!
I think that I may require two valets for my imperial palace.
ReplyDeleteBut first I must do a molecular scan to see if they are... how does one put it diplomatically ... all natural?
It's not an aesthetic choice on my part, it's just that when you're from a species that's mostly chlorine, silicone can give you a nasty rash in places one does not wish to discuss.
moxargon-
ReplyDeletequestion of "realness?" if they're touchable they're real enough for most humans.
Mox - Only two valets? You truly are a benevolent conqueror!
ReplyDeleteAnon - I second that emotion. Mmm . . . touchable!
Those must be those good looking, non man-hating lesbians that I thought wer only myths.
ReplyDelete"The police were called - Jesus, why can't I ever get this call?" Somehow I just knew you'd say that. ;)
ReplyDeleteBTW they're not unemployed or if they are they won't be for long; Angela is a Registered Nurse and Renee has a doctorate degree in dental
surgery.