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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Are You Ready For Some Football?

My pal Denny sent me this one, knowing what a huge college football fan I am. Enjoy!

Q: What does the average University of Michigan player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?
A: Grease her hips and push.

Q: How do you get a Florida State graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

Q: Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What are the longest three years of a Miami football player's life?
A: His freshman year.

Q: How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a sophomore course.

Q: Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
A: Durham, North Carolina. He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.

Q: Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

4 comments:

  1. Hey! I don't see my alma mater of CSU Fresno on there!

    Oh, wait, that's right. Our teams rather bite.

    But we do have a cool mascot - much better than a banana slug.

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  2. Hehehe, that was a good laugh. And as bad as UT did this season I can't really get offended at the joke about them.

    Good times.

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  3. AFW - Yeah, but was your mascot referred to in Pulp Fiction, though? The Banana Slugs get bonus points there.

    GOP & College - I'll bet they wish they had Peyton back right about now . . .

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  4. BUT! BUT! BUT, Alabama was good until they started to SUCK.

    ReplyDelete