Bound And Tagged

I'm gonna kill Dr. Phat Tony and make it look like an accident. That's the first thing they teach you in detective training, by the way. The good doctor tagged me with a meme here, and now I gotta pony up some answers. Like I need homework after a brutal week of classroom training.

Five Weird Habits I Have

1. The Straightening. Meet Wyatt Earp, the poster boy for OCD. Although my obsessive-compulsive tendencies have become less severe, I will still line up any footwear I find on the floor. If the kids kick them off, I will walk over, place them next to each other, with the heel end against the wall, facing out.

2. The Hockey Dressing. Hockey players are by nature superstitious. In a habit that can be traced back to the first time I laced up skates, I put on my gear left to right, bottom to top. For example, I put on my left skate, then my right. Next, I strap on my left shin guard, then my right. This goes onward and upward until I strap on my helmet.

3. The Shaking. When I am pissed off and/or stressed out, I get what Kramer referred to as the "jimmy legs." I will lie in bed and my legs will quickly shake back and forth whilst I try and deal with the stress. It drives the missus nuts.

4. The Eating. To say that I am a picky eater is an insult to all picky eaters. I like chicken, fish, and ground beef. That's pretty much it. Why? Because before my parents got divorced, they made us clean our plates. Being a middle-class working family, mom couldn't afford the best steaks and pork chops, and I wouldn't touch gristle or fat. Now, I won't eat steak or pork, or most any other animal carcass unless it is Kate Moss lean.

4a. The Chewing. In a related subject from #4 (Doc was right, you can't get any more weird than me), I evenly distribute my food while I chew. For instance, when I take a bite of a Snickers bar (Mmm . . . Snickers!) I will start chewing, and then use my tongue to separate an even amount to each side of my mouth. This way, both sides of teeth get a workout.

5. The Drinking. On those rare occasions that I partake in some liquor (Mmm . . . Jameson's!), I have an infamous move I like to call "the double shot." When drinking shots, I'll arch my head back and slam the whiskey into my mouth, then bring my head forward. I'll hold the whiskey in my mouth for a second, then slam it back a second time to swallow.

Well, there you go. I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into the train wreck that is my life. Now the fun begins . . . Tyler, Peakah, Air Force Wife, Fmragtops, and GunnNutt, you've been tagged!